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By y0uw1shy0ukn3wm3 - 09/10/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I was refereeing a kid's soccer game, and noticed that on the field next to me was a referee I hated working with. I told the other referee I was working with that he was the laziest and most dumbass referee I had ever worked with. She then slapped me, and told me that it was her grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 643

You deserved it 42 085

Toilet drama

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 17:01

Today, I'd always thought the scene in Scrubs when JD passes out while pooping was hilarious, until it happened to me. I recently found out I have a heart defect that can cause me to pass out if my blood pressure rises, and yes, I did pass out on the toilet and woke up covered in my own shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 139

Scratch that

By ouch - 15/09/2019 00:01

Today, after 4 days of using anti-itch cream for what pharmacists and nurses have called “an allergic reaction”, I was diagnosed with shingles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 689

You deserved it 127

By leonieNL - 12/08/2010 14:50 - Netherlands

Today, I got back from a 3 and a half week trip to South Africa to do volunteer work with children in townships. My parents forgot to pick me up, and I had to sit there by myself and wait for them, while 80 people of the same organization got loving hugs from their proud parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 607

You deserved it 3 838

Subway Surfer on a Mission

By FML Approved - 26/09/2017 03:00

You know he's got something important going on...

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 114

Gardener's World

By Anonymous - 13/07/2022 22:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my dad was pissed and more concerned about his tomato plant being broken than the fact that I'd just tripped over it and hurt my knee. According to him, “It’s the best tomato plant we have.” Thanks for the concern dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 671

Grey Mirror

By Anonymous - 22/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I called the DMV. The automated voice said, “Your expected wait time is… 7 hours.” I waited. When I finally got through, the human redirected me to a chatbot. The chatbot crashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 96

Another one bites the dust

By Anonymous - 29/10/2023 04:00

Today, every guy I've dated in the last 5 years loses interest after we've had sex, no matter how long I wait. The worst part is none of them will tell me what's wrong with me, they all just act like everything is fine, whilst "phasing it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 193

By Fatass - 18/04/2014 05:37 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 715

You deserved it 13 897

Are you kidding me?

By Stinky. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 033

You deserved it 2 804

Worked out

By leigh - 18/06/2021 14:01

Today, three days after receiving the vaccine, I was finally able to lift weights again. At the beginning of the workout, I broke my finger. Lifting weights is the one thing that keeps me from being depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 176

Unreasonable

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 17:01 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my fiancé of over 5 years and I split, since I don't want kids and he does, which I have told him throughout our relationship. It gets better: we live in a house that his father owns and his father wants me out… in a fucking week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 722

The cutest

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was getting him the “best surprise ever” for our anniversary. It turns out that we'd had the exact same idea, and bought each other the same pair of matching socks with each other's faces on them. I guess we both got the same damn ad in our Instagram feeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 451

By rachaaaaeul - 06/08/2010 07:07 - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 098

You deserved it 4 027

Hopeless

By Anonymous - 02/11/2023 22:00

Today, as my stalker was finally led away in handcuffs, my auntie asked if maybe I was being a bit harsh having him arrested, and maybe I should give him a second chance because he seemed like "a sweet man", and "it’s not like I have any other men lining up to date me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 103

By Pwnedofthedead - 03/10/2009 15:34 - Canada

Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 38

Nervous

By Mike-al - 05/11/2023 09:00 - Germany

Today, I was the ring bearer at a wedding, something I'd been nervous about being ever since the groom asked me. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped over nothing and the ring flew from the little silk pillow and rolled into a nearby pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 197

Hyperpoop

By Elongated Muskrat - 17/05/2021 00:01 - France

Today, a friend of mine enthusiastically explained to me how Elon Musk's car-tunnel-thing is supposed to work. I don't know what's worse, the dumbass tunnel or the fact that my friend thinks it's an amazing idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 1 083

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 00:02

Today, after my family left me at home for the weekend before finals while they went on vacation so I could focus on my studies, I spent the weekend watching my little cousins for no pay. It wasn’t an easy babysitting job either. I had to pay attention to and then re-enact basically every Bluey episode ever to exist, with no time to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 177

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 19:42 - United States

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 482

You deserved it 3 346

By TMI - 04/06/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 589

You deserved it 2 892

By manicmandy - 01/08/2010 20:24 - United States

Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 507

You deserved it 78 634

Take what you can get

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 18:00 - Australia

Today, I was feeling sad and lonely. I got a message from my father-in-law asking how I was. I instantly felt great that someone was thinking of me and wanted to chat. It soon became clear that the account was hacked. The hacker said more to me than my own family on the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 144

Revealing

By Anonymous - 08/05/2025 09:00

Today, I am fuming. We went to the beach in the sunny weather and my husband finally got round to posting the pictures on Facebook. In one of them I’m sunbathing and one of my fanny lips was hanging completely out the edge of my bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 220

Man's gotta have his biscuit

By Anonymous - 12/11/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 100

Everything computer!

By Anonymous - 09/05/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, my computer decided to upgrade to Windows 11, moments before I presented to dozens of people. I had to go solely by memory with no notes, graphs, or illustrations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 123

By quickfingers100 - 01/06/2011 16:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 668

You deserved it 48 089

By idgit42 - 27/07/2010 22:15 - United States

Today, I didn't realize until I was home that I'd thrown my retainer away with my tray at Chick-fil-A. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 759

You deserved it 30 363

Odd punishment

By Anonymous - 14/05/2025 00:00 - Hong Kong

Today, one of my classmates got bullied and the whole class got to wrote 2000 words about that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 473

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 011

You deserved it 5 572

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315 596

You deserved it 174 176

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 363

You deserved it 339 412

Random

Today, I got my first job after having spent months looking, and graduating college in the meantime. I got it based on my pre-college qualifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 880

You deserved it 3 336

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 563

You deserved it 4 968

Today, I got into a screaming match with the mother of my kids. I told her they need to bathe more often. According to her, anything more than once a week is excessive and bad for their skin. My kids play sports and smell like puppies from the pound. She doesn’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 461

You deserved it 220

Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 865

Today, I found out that my stick figure drawing passed as homework during my doctoral level seminar. I'm paying over two thousand dollars for this course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 242

Today, I told my mom I wasn't doing very good mentally and I was looking for some support. She decided to remind me of all of the things I still haven't paid her back for. I'm now an unpaid loan, not her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 244