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By Thanks Trump - 08/03/2016 22:31 - United States - New York

Today, my mom parked in a handicapped space because, "the Spanish people are taking over everything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 365

You deserved it 1 567

By hardgraderorhardass - 24/02/2016 04:46 - United States - Bridgewater

Today, my English professor bragged to my entire class about how good my essay was. He kept on saying great things about it for the duration of class. To my surprise, he'd given me a C-. When I asked why, his only response was: "I'm a hard grader." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 825

You deserved it 1 543

By Alesana - 20/02/2017 01:16 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I watched an episode of the children's show, "Goosebumps". It scared the shit out of me. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 875

You deserved it 1 376

Alesana_pond tells us more.

Alesana_pond 9

Saturday 18 February 2017 22:12

OP here. The episode was the one w the kid and the piano I forgot what the episode is called. And it was near the end when it showed the pianos being played by hands that weren't attached to arms or anything. By "scared the shit out of me" was more like "it's ****** creepy nope nope nope nope nope." The visual just creeped me the **** out. And I skipped forward to the next episode lol. I don't really get scared by horror shit. I can eat a big bloody steak and watch Saw lol. In the end tho I ended up giggling because I'm a sign spinner and I imagined what it'd look like if a pair of hands were spinning a sign. All y'all's comments made my day tho xD

By lowly worker - 08/04/2017 18:00

Today, I nearly lost a hand at work, because a supervisor decided to remove a 'useless' safety guard on a machine despite my warnings. He doesn't understand why I'm so upset with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 745

You deserved it 428

Dr. Dick

By Peter - 11/05/2019 14:00

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend has been lying to me about having a long-term illness requiring multiple trips to the doctor's. She isn't ill, she was cheating on me with the local GP. So I’ve literally driven her to the clinic and then sat in the waiting room while she screwed the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 353

You deserved it 352

By HarleyGirl - 26/04/2017 00:00 - United States - Sterling Heights

Today, I watched my fiancé ride off on my motorcycle with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 865

You deserved it 366

By nicholascageonyourface - 09/06/2013 05:13 - United States - Papillion

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 54

By kunjac0945 - 14/09/2015 05:21 - United States - New York

Today, I slipped in my own vomit while dashing to the bathroom to puke. My knee hit and shattered the toilet; the toilet shattered my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 687

You deserved it 2 359

kunjac0945 tells us more.

kunjac0945 21

Monday 14 September 2015 16:46

OP here. For clarity's sake, this actually happened to me several years ago, on the first day of my summer break. I had to spend the rest of break, as well as my birthday in a cast.

By Save Me - 22/06/2017 17:43

Today, I found out that the small town I moved to to escape the crowds is actually a popular tourist spot in the summer. The majority are unbathed. I work in retail at the only convenience store, and the temperature has hit triple digits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 337

You deserved it 1 292

C8H18 tells us more.

C8H18 33

Tuesday 20 June 2017 16:47

OP, here. Being a small town of 200 hundred people there's really not much information when I did searches. Even the realistate agent didn't mention it. I've found that the tourists only know if it because they live in the sourrounding cities a few hours away and simply searched for lakes in the area. Unfortunately this "lake" they're vacationing to isn't really a lake. It's a man made reservoir for our drinking water. :/

By thedeadone - 15/07/2019 00:01

Today, I found the phone number of my biological mother after years of searching for her, and gave her a call. I introduced myself by name and said, "I'm your daughter." There was a pause at the other end, followed by, "The one I aborted or the one I gave away?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 458

You deserved it 221

Breakout

By liisiuu - 13/07/2017 05:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 044

You deserved it 906

By natalyV - 04/09/2015 15:58

Today, my boyfriend has been sulking like a moody kid all day, all because I won't set my phone background to a picture of his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 081

You deserved it 3 270

By fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 287

You deserved it 8 039

The customer is always a dong

By Obviously works everywhere - 20/09/2017 23:15

Today, a customer filed a formal complaint with corporate about me, because I wouldn't help her find things she wanted while I was off the clock. We were in a completely different store than the one where I actually work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 967

You deserved it 221

Hit and run

By whyme - 02/09/2016 04:33 - United States

Today, my friend and I were eating in my car in a McDonald's parking lot, when an angry, drunk man stumbled out of the restaurant and into his car. He then hit the McDonald's wall, turned around and sped straight into my car. I only bought it a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 837

You deserved it 1 281

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 162

You deserved it 1 548

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 23:31

Today, the guy I broke up with for being too possessive and jealous threatened to leak my nudes if he sees or hears that I've gotten with anyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 678

You deserved it 5 297

By Code_Skull - 30/06/2016 06:53 - Netherlands - Vlissingen

Today, I went to work using the train. While on the train, I fell asleep. I woke up 130km late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 471

You deserved it 2 846

Code_Skull tells us more.

Code_Skull 12

Friday 1 July 2016 8:50

OP here, turns out my boss was also late. Coincidences like this are called "luck" i suppose. about setting an alarm, i've done that but for some reason i slept right trough it. also, dutch trains are pretty crowded at the moment, so nobody thought about waking me up. until the next post thingamading i guess.