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What she doesn't realize is that in a school with only 180 students, it's impossible to get away with stuff like that. The principal knows what's up, because we dealt with similar issues last year; I just didn't think I was going to have to schedule meetings with the teachers again about it (outside of the regular parent-teacher conferences, which she attends). I *had* kind of noticed the teachers giving me the stink-eye in the car line lately though.

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 20:59 - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 050

You deserved it 6 037

By Mizzaroo - 17/01/2013 06:38 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 900

You deserved it 3 634

Mizzaroo tells us more.

Mizzaroo 13

Thursday 17 January 2013 19:41

Actually, I was trying to show it wasn't a made up word. :)

By CaitiieBuggs - 13/01/2013 07:22 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 247

You deserved it 2 534

CaitiieBuggs tells us more.

CaitiieBuggs 23

Wednesday 12 February 2014 0:45

Op here to give a year later update: After my husband confronted her about the comments she tried to backtrack and do that whole "you misunderstood what I was saying" thing, although she said it pretty damn directly, like word for word. Wedding happened without anymore major problems from her, hubby's sister on the other hand is a different story. Mother in law has tried to convince us to move in with her a few times since, but we've kindly declined each time, but she'll bring it up every so often. She has the idea we're only together because I'm pregnant (which I'm not, but with her logic this is year 5 of my pregnancy) and my husband has called her out on that too, so for all of those wondering, he does defend and stand up for me, even if it takes a little push from my end:)I picked a good one. Hope that answers any questions people had:)

Rare and inventive insult

By fuck you - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 680

You deserved it 3 851

Bonding moment

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 20:11 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show 'House, M.D.' I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 115

You deserved it 10 170

By Anonymous - 15/04/2015 17:18 - United States - Birmingham

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 214

You deserved it 21 399

Quite the gamble

By Anonymous - 25/03/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, to celebrate my older sister's 21st birthday, my parents forced me to take the night off work so we could all go to the casino. Not only is this coming out of my vacation, I wasn't old enough to enter the casino, so I had to sit in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 871

You deserved it 4 442

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 17:10 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 237

You deserved it 4 223

IDGAF!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, our school started an anti-bullying policy, and we watched a video about bullying. After the video, I told a teacher about a bullying case going on that I know about. His response? "Tell someone who cares!" as he walked away, chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 960

You deserved it 4 637

By anon - 31/01/2016 21:38 - United States

Today, my parents have deliberately ruined my last 2 relationships, because they want me to get back together with my ex simply because he is my son's dad. Apparently, my son needs his father more than I need a man who won't beat me every time he gets drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 734

You deserved it 2 074

By damncat - 08/12/2009 06:26 - United States

Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 539

You deserved it 33 345

By Leadamp - 15/05/2012 22:39

Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 258

You deserved it 5 030

Leadamp tells us more.

Leadamp 7

Wednesday 16 May 2012 19:33

We where in Spain and I was reading a book by the pool.

By noreia - 06/10/2013 04:11 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 382

You deserved it 4 264

noreia tells us more.

noreia 14

Monday 7 October 2013 17:43

he'll turn 14 within this month

By Anonymous - 29/06/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 829

You deserved it 12 569

By anotherhuman - 30/11/2014 05:48 - United States - Tampa

Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 151

You deserved it 3 123

anotherhuman tells us more.

anotherhuman 31

Thursday 11 June 2015 9:41

It's okay you guys, I got it all sorted out not too long after I submitted this FML. My little sister got in trouble and I received more time on my essay which I passed so everything turned out great on this one. ^__^

By Anonymous - 09/09/2011 22:33 - United States

Today, I found out that all the everyday Spanish words and phrases my boyfriend has been teaching me have very vulgar meanings. I found this out after I said a few to our waitress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 846

You deserved it 6 663

By Gremlinswife - 24/07/2012 20:25 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 962

You deserved it 2 671

Gremlinswife tells us more.

Gremlinswife 13

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:53

I charge them rent but also pay them to babysit. They have a pretty sweet deal. My Husband works out of province i'm essentially a single mother 2 week of each month and my youngest son has special needs. Laundry is very low on my list of things to do in my kids waking hours lol