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Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 03/03/2021 21:30 - United States - Alexandria

Today I was offered an opportunity on Instagram from a local lady to take photos of her home for her. I told my friends, because I was shocked. They were shocked too. But in the nicest terms possible, they were shocked because my Instagram "isn’t really professional enough to get such offers." Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 179

Introverts! Hide!

By ??? - 17/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was home alone when the doorbell rang. I panicked and hid under the table because I wasn’t expecting anyone and I have minor social anxiety. It was just Amazon dropping off a package. I made eye contact with the delivery guy through the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 493

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 04:00 - Morocco

Today, a friend and I tell each other everything about our relationships, and we’ve been flirting for two years, but we’re not together. I started to have feelings for him, but I didn’t say anything, then the guy started to disappear and I don't know if he has an avoidant attachment, or he's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 517

Entitled parents

By Anonymous - 20/01/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I’m being painted as some monster for sticking my horrible parents in a home. Funny, none of the family members castigating me are willing to let my awful parents move in with them and ruin their lives, yet I’m supposed to make room for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 107

Slicing up eyeballs

By Anonymous - 28/05/2022 02:00

Today, I got up at 2 a.m. to pee. Searing pain stabbed my eye as soon as I opened it. I spent the next 30 min in agony, tears, and snot pouring down my face, trying to find the eyelash in my dry eye. Instead, I pulled a 2-inch long, invisible white, crinkly hair from my dog's undercoat out of my eye. SO. MUCH. PAIN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 187

No means no, Deborah

By Anonymous - 15/08/2023 22:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, it's my birthday. A month ago, I'd told everyone I invited to my party that it was going to be adults only. One of my friends brought her kids with her anyway, then started screaming and trashing the place when I politely asked her to leave. The cops had to be called to finally get her out of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 119

Check every nook and cranny

By Menacing_Rascal - 17/08/2023 08:00

Today, while barbecuing, I noticed a small black baby spider crawling on my shirt. Then I felt another one crawling on the back of my neck. I still don't know if there were more than two baby spiders on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 115

In the zone

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 20:00

Today, my wife was painting in the garage when she unplugged a random plug to charge her stupid, smelly vape without thinking about what it was she was unplugging. It was the large chest freezer. About £500 in meat and the entire bottom tier of our wedding cake defrosted and ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 159

Seven against one

By Anonymous - 29/01/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Lerwick

Today, I am living a nightmare. My mother is now friends with my wife and my mother-in-law, plus my sister is now friends with my wife’s sisters. All that needs to happen now is they all get together in the same room and my life will be over; it will be a 7 on 1 massacre, and I’ll be the 1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 488

Clean freak

By Anonymous - 07/09/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at home, I always do my share of the chores. I just got back from a business trip and it turns out that I actually do ALL the chores. My wife was alone for 9 days, the kitchen was a in state, dirty laundry everywhere, cat litter box overflowing onto the floor, and the bathroom was fucking disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 70

Trust issues

By Anonymous - 09/09/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my husband secretly DNA-tested all of our kids after they were born. Obviously they're his, but I'm incredibly hurt at his lack of trust and I'm thinking about divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 116

Great night out

By Boyufd - 02/05/2022 04:00

Today, I had an amazing date with my girlfriend. Everything was going great, until I locked my keys in the car. It then started raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 200

Maybe take the bus today?

By Lol - 10/02/2025 00:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I got into my car, started the engine, and started driving… only to realize my car was making a weird noise. Panic set in until I realized I was still in my driveway. The weird noise? The gate that I forgot to open, along with a trash can. FM

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 539

Frozen 3

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 12:00 - United States

Today, as I was putting groceries away, I went to open my freezer door which randomly gets stuck by giving it a good tug, and a frozen hamburger fell on my right foot. My right foot, which is currently healing from a sprain I got a couple days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 210

Really!

By fml - 13/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Huntsville

Today, after receiving our marriage certificate, I told my wife about it. She responded with "fml". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 856

You deserved it 262

Nice guy

By Anonymous - 24/03/2021 08:00 - Canada - Baddeck

Today, while working a night shift completely alone at a truck stop, a trucker asked me to get in the shower with him for a "funner night shift", and threw his towels and clothes at me when I told him no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 67

Winter Is Coming!

By FML Approved - 14/07/2017 03:30

Only a few short days remain until the new season of Game of Thrones begins! The FML Team is pretty excited, in case you couldn't tell.

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 274

It's complicated

By illusia - 05/04/2021 16:58

Today, I was screamed at for not doing the dishes because I was exhausted. Last year, when my arm was broken, I did all my chores without complaint. I don’t know how to explain to my parents that I’d much, much rather work with a broken arm than while tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 170

Worried

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 08:00

Today, I texted a friend saying I urgently needed his help. He gushed back along the lines of, "Glad you reached out, everyone has noticed your terrible frame of mind, you’re a suicide risk." I meant help with a tricky Excel spreadsheet, but thanks for the support I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 141

**** addiction

By Anonymous - 03/04/2021 20:00 - United States - Boise

Today, I was recording a video on Snapchat to send to one of my friends, while unaware that my father had walked in behind me. I was talking about how I can’t watch porn anymore because my phone is broken. He now knows too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 1 430

Cheer up sleepy Jean

By SleepySleep - 09/06/2022 16:00

Today, I had a Zoom meeting with co-workers. I didn’t get enough sleep last night and it was early in the morning, so I was super tired. I dozed off and my head hit the keyboard’s space bar. Apparently, this feature allows the mic to unmute itself. The entire group heard my snoring. I woke up unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 1 118

Classic cat prank

By Icky Foot - 24/09/2023 06:00

Today, I was walking down the hallway when I stepped in an ice cold pile of cat vomit. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 164

By Tomaino - 18/08/2019 04:02

Today, my best friend got drunk and told me he's only friends with me because no one else will be friends with him. He then went on to tell me that he wasn't actually that drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 724

You deserved it 159

Social media poisoning

By fuck tiktok - 13/06/2022 18:00

Today, my coworkers have decided I'm a racist. Not because I started shouting racist slurs or something, but because I used to be a server, and they saw a TikTok video that said that all servers are secretly racist. Since it's on TikTok, it's obviously true, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 124

Get me out of here!

By Anonymous - 27/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, because I'm still the emergency contact for my ex, I'm waiting to take him home after a routine surgery. I'm also trapped with his potential next girlfriend, who showed up and is trying to become best friends with me. She has giggled after every sentence for the past three hours like she's twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 141

Drumroll please

By Gunaditya - 23/04/2021 00:30

Today, I was supposed to having the interview for which I'd been preparing for the past week. I join and 5 minutes later, some guy joins, just to tell me that there's been some technical issue and the interview will be rescheduled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 89

Nice neighborhood

By dinkley7 - 25/04/2021 02:00

Today, the cops showed up at my work because people were fighting in the parking lot. This is a nightly occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 108

Have some patience

By Anonymous - 07/07/2022 18:00 - Switzerland

Today, waiting times in our emergency department were so long that a patient who'd initially presented with just a sprained ankle eventually presented with a sprained ankle and a request to test for STDs because he went to see a prostitute instead of waiting, and his condom broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 251

Bathroom breakdown

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I used the public restroom at a park. After washing my hands, I went to dry them, only to realize there were no paper towels. I thought the air dryer would work, but it broke halfway through, leaving me standing there, awkwardly fanning my hands with my arms spread wide. A group of teenagers walked in and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 316

Wrong place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 20:00 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I slept with a best friend after 32 years of him trying. He is visiting from overseas. I just found out he's had a girlfriend for 17 years, who he forgot to mention, and I’m kind of in love already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 435

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The Top

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 884

You deserved it 14 220

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 109

Random

Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency, and that I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom had ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 975

You deserved it 3 350

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 655

You deserved it 54 252

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 345

You deserved it 35 398

Today, while in bed with my husband, we were discussing our fears. Mine being the Doomsday Clock. He giggled and made me feel silly about my (rational if you ask me) fear. I let out a tiny toot, and he jumped and screamed bloody murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 244

Today, I accidentally liked a photo from 2013 while stalking an ex’s Instagram. Not only did she see it, but I also followed their entire family’s pages in a panicked attempt to cover up. It didn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 666

Today, I am recovering from surgery, so even though my mom could burn cold water, I was forced to let her cook for me. Thanks to her cooking, I’ve now shit my body weight in brown water, and I need her help to get on the toilet. She doesn’t always get me there in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 64