FML - The Follow-Up

Yup. This was stupid on my part. It was at my ceramics studio where we apparently now have mice. It's a brown mug that I keep in my work area. I should have thought to clean it before I drank but I didn't. Gross.

And by the way... This was not a FAKE experience. It scared the living shit out of me. I admit...I didn't know anything about the ocean or rip "CURRENTS" but now I do. Thank's for the knowledge guys, I've lived at the beach for 4 years and never swam in the ocean because I didn't like swimming in the ocean. Now u see why. There were NO lifeguards...This was at CAROLINA BEACH!! Just outside of Wilmington NC. If you know me, yup..I'm a dumbass for this. It's funny you say that. The water WAS murky and choppy. It ran along side a big ass pile of rocks that stretched out into the ocean. I didn't want to hit the rocks though for fear of injury. Fighting the rip current was a dumbass idea. After I ran out of energy trying to swim I just gave up and floated on my back and the waves helped push me back to shore. I really didn't give a shit about people seeing my dick. Im a sexy beast. haha

I'm the one who wrote the FML. I'll clear some things up for those of you who think I deserved it. The FMLs have to be short so I couldn't write the whole story. My main symptoms were severe joint and muscle pain along with cramping and headaches. The stomach pain was constant, not just when I ate bread. I had a hard time even digesting vegetables. I went to doctors practically every week and scoured the internet. I was finally "diagnosed" with fibromyalgia and IBS. My first Celiac blood test came back negative, but finally my gastroenterologist figured it out. I'm now gluten-free, and I'm feeling much better (although hungry). And I'm a pre-med student, so I'm not an idiot. I saw at least 5 different doctors and specialists. I even went to Mayo Clinic. Celiac can be a very difficult diagnosis as the symptoms are often non-specific. Thanks for all the tips on gluten-free food. It's time for me to start cooking!

Just to clear things up, I was wearing a smock with nothing in my pockets but a lighter and cigs, both were there afterwards. I was joking around with her when she was being rang up for gas inside. I was outside smoking when she pulled up after getting her gas and asked my name and asked permission for a hug. I hugged her for a while and she was crying into my shoulder and telling me her daughter was my age when she died, wore her hair the same way, same glasses, same hair color...( I do believe her because she looked alot like my mom..) Also, to clarify what had happened, I called my mom to tell her I loved her, but I told her what had happened first, and she was just a scam and I should be more careful and hung up before I got the chance to tell her I loved her. Yes, this happened in a city, but where I live is actually just a great big town with a lot people, very low crime rate...People are nice. Pickpockets aren't something you have worry about here. Also she was by herself, so there's no way she had a pickpocket accomplice plus we were outside!

Ok... I'm the lady who raised the ducks and I'm not an idiot. 1. at my lake all the female ducks except 2 have been killed or something and only males are left. So I raised some in hope of balancing the equation and hopefully see some chicks within a while. 2. I've done this before, and ducks are wild, so they have know how to survive without me, the other ones did great, but they turned out to be all male except one female, so that's why I tried again the next year. And the ducks that are born in the wild at my lake are hand fed by the people that live here and aren't scared, they run to you thinking that you have bread. 3. I found out later that the dogs that had killed the ducks had also killed some ones kittens, and a cat as well as another small dog. They are now in the animal shelter because they were dangerous. 4. My sisters were upset but next year I'll just get some more, I enjoy watching them grow, and they other four ducks are doing great, surviving like all the other ducks. :) so yeah, not an idiot, just wanted to clear that up. I thought the story would make some people laugh... so I shared it. Have a nice day... God bless.

To explain a bit more in detail, I pulled a U-Turn and the dog ran out of the yard and boom... It was a medium sized dog, I drive an SUV and didn't see it as I was making the turn. I didn't even know they had a dog... haha The following 20 minutes were probably the most uncomfortable of my life, after I knew the dog was fine I kinda laughed nervously and left. "Hi I'm the guy who is dating your daughter, sorry about the dog"... Live and you learn.

Why does everyone think only a guy can buy a home? You know what they say about people who assume. 1. I’m female. 2. I’m a 25 year old graduate student with plenty of friends and wouldn’t even know how to play D&D. 3. I live in a city where buying a house in a nice area would cost 3 times as much so duh of course I bought a condo. . But thanks to those who understand what its like to have shit attack your house! The adjuster comes today at least.

he said it would be awkward if we went out cause hes a freshman and im a junior. and it wasnt spontaneous. i told him i was bored and he told me to go ********** and i told him im sick of masturbating and he was like what? how is taht even possible? and i was like well ive been doing it for half a decade. it gets old. i need a boyfriend.

We met in Europe, and I currently live in England and my parents live in the States, so that's why they haven't met her yet. I still proposed, and she said yes. And yes, my dad was calling her ugly.

Just to clarify/answer all the questions, I did go with friends, I was on the end of the line of friends. And I was one of the last to show up, people got there 2 hours early. And I do live in CA. Movies are expensive. Like others said though, I don't think it ruined my life, it was just an unlucky occurrence. And yes he did smell lol. And not that it matters, but I'm a girl. And a wimp. ;)

As the OP, a few extra points: I'm female, he was about a foot taller than me, I'd come home from an 8 hour shift, and I called the cops once I'd moved down the street to a safe distance. If there had been people around, I'd have stood up to him, but I didn't want to add mugging to an already shitty day. But, at #29, I'll totally try that next time!

OK, here is the story. I work as an auto service tech at a dealership. We have a big board of keys for the customer cars. It is set up this way because the techs, advisers, valets and wash guys all need quick access to the keys. I was pulling this customers car into the shop for repairs. Every pepper spray I have ever seen(before yesterday) has come in an upright cylinder. They spray at a right angle and are equipped with a snap down style trigger safety at the top. They often come in a leather holster. There is no mistaking what these are. This particular pepper spray was in a small torpedo shaped, red case. The case was colored but it was clear as well. I could just make out the cylinder through the plastic. I mistook the cylinder as a AA battery which supported my flashlight theory. The trigger was a spring loaded, slide-forward type and it was located on the side of the case. The trigger didn't have an active safety and it resembled a switch. Also, this device discharged straight out the end. Check out the website I've included (down at the bottom) to see the real thing. Look at the refills as well and you can see the bottom does in fact look like a battery. First, I pointed the device away from me and pushed down on the button and nothing happened. Then I noticed that the lever slid forward, again nothing happened. I was starting to wonder what the hell kind of flashlight this was. With the lever still slid forward it I looked into the end(to see if it even had a bulb in it) and it discharged into my eye. In order to discharge you had to slide forward then push down. This is their so called "automatic safety". The pain was pretty intense! My coworker guided to the water hose where I flushed my eyes and face for about 20 minutes. As long as I had cool water on my face the pain was manageable. As soon as I took the water away it did in fact feel as if my face was on fire. After I felt slightly better, my right eye was all bloodshot and face was all red. One coworker said it looked like I got hit with a softball. Within 45 minutes there was no pain at all and my face had pretty much returned to normal. THE GOOD: I only took a short .25 second burst I sprayed myself in the face and spared my coworkers There was a water hose nearby THE BAD: I took a .25 second burst of pepper spray! It hit me right in the eye It burned like a bastard THE UGLY: My face just after the whole ordeal #3 Yep, that's me #4 I like gadgets #6 I would post to youtube myself if I had the footage #10 THANK YOU! #13 I truly feel your pain #14 see #13 #19 Sure did, and to top it all off it is called "The Spitfire" #24 THANK YOU! I guess the rest of you a-holes would pepper spray the key cutting guy for looking at your Welcome to Las Vegas keychain #31 A guy who totally gets the point of this story #39 THANK YOU! #48 A very accurate description #49 I understand your thinking but this did happen just yesterday, and I'm the jackass who did it #50 A very valid point

Clear some things up. I had been working there for 4 1/2 years. Everyone at the store eats on the job and I was the only one to get fired. Never had any disiplinary problems before. The Store owners 14 year old son saw me eat the burger while working and told his dad who in turn told the DM. My regular manager didnt even know about it and was as blindsided as me. I offered to pay for the burger even double or triple for it but my DM could not see it any other way and canned my ass. O well. FML

Okay, okay, okay. Guys. Let me explain. I dropped her off at her car, which was left where we bumped into each other. At the convenience store. I don't know where she lives, yet. When she came to my house, it was dark. She might not have remembered how to get there. She found me again via Facebook anyway. So really the Facebook comments are now completely useless. I had forgotten her last name [It'd been like 3 years.], and I never bought a yearbook from my HS since I felt they were overpriced and poorly done. Not to mention, now that she's added me, she wasn't even in the network I would have guessed, since she apparently went to some school in AZ for a few months, and is now switching schools. And, also, I'm moving to FLORIDA [I'm currently in KY], and trying to convince her to at least do an internship at my place of work. I took her out to breakfast one morning before she went to work this week and we're planning on a third date sometime before this week's over. Obviously, we're trying to pack all of this in before I leave. But regardless, it still sucks that we hadn't bumped into each other sooner. That should pretty much explain any question that has been asked or any point that has been made.

as the OP, I would like to say that it was to the original mix of Benny Benassi's Satisfaction

AAAHH I can't believe I posted this on here and now i have to EXPLAIN myself to you people. Well there's the thing. 1) This was totally not a "Today" but a totally "Last November" 2) He was wearing headphones when we got into it, so why should i help him any 3) This was the FIRST time we'd done it, so HE was the bad lay 4) We're not dating anymore (I broke up with him) 5) FML anyway for wasting so much time with him I know i cheated on the "today" thing, but who hasn't. It just says that they all relatively START with "today" and END with FML. I hope this answers a couple of questions.

Wow O_o I can't believe how much of a response this thing is getting(first post ever...) But for clarification:(Skip if you want...Blah) a) Since my mother was willing to beat me with a metal end of a broom for claiming Hitler and the events of the holocaust were wrong and has a machete at the ready underneath her bed, the threat was/is to be taken seriously, wouldn't you think... (Is she still hilarious?) b) Kill me, sure, but THE KID??? c)I would've loved for my mother to have been concerned/open enough with me to have an actual conversation about sex... Blegh -_-

To all, thanks for your concern. Don't worry, I'm fine, it was just a bad concussion when I hit the ground that knocked me out. I hope I don't disappoint anybody, but I am not going to sue. A few years in jail ought to be enough for the driver- it was a drunk. Luckily, there was a black and white across the street and got the driver in time. Again, thank you all for your concerns.

ATTENTION: I AM THE ONE WHO POSTED THIS FML 1. I think it's hilarious how many of you think it is fake. 2. If you've ever posted on FML before, you'll know you can only put 300 characters which means details are left out. 3. We were running so late that my friend ran inside to scan my ticket (I bought online so I had to get the actual ticket from the counter) while I got all my bags from the car. I grabbed the keys out of the car because I met her in the lobby to exchange keys for tickets (I didn't want her car to sit there running in the middle of the street.) We were so flustered about catching the train , I snatched the ticket and took off running for the train. We didn't even realize we didn't switch back the keys. FML

I am the author of this post, and no, I could not move to a different seat. The bus was packed like a can of sardines. My seat was actually the only seat open. Lol. I wanted to be nice, so I let him sit next to me. When he was clipping his nails, yes, they were flying EVERYWHERE. I didn't mean to swallow the nail, by the way. It was accidental. Completely. Lol. I can only fit so much in that little submit box. I couldn't explain the entire story. :) Now you all know. Trust me, if I had the opportunity to move, I would've. . . .

As OP I'd like to say a few things: -yes, there were pictures. very. very. clear cut. disturbing pictures. as well as equally disturbing comments and wall posts. -creating a second Facebook account, people, is as easy as creating a separate email address and using that for registration of a new account. -i was not stalking. we all have random bored moments where we start plugging in random names to see if it will come up. his friend's name came up. one of her friends was my boyfriend. hence the click on his profile. hence....all the rest that followed. -bizarrely, i did find it amusing. way way deep down. way way after i was finished gagging at work when i found it. -and to all: deception only creates more problems. whether with other people or with yourself, you'll **** yourself over at the very least and barest minimum, psychologically. peace to all.

The date lasted 4 hours and he took me home with the intention of going home. Not fat, not ugly...His friend ended up inviting him out. I approached him at the club to say hi and kept it moving because I was with friends. I danced with a few other people, including him. He called the next day. I actually made a joke about how funny it would be if I saw him to a friend before we went out. Wasn't down about it, just thought the irony was FML-worthy --- Some of yall are cruel! lol

Wow, a couple hate messages in here. Yes it happened, it was for Depeche Mode Release tickets for house of blues on 4/21 and I never said there was no screener. It was the screener that said "congratulations, you're the winning caller" So no busy signal, not even a single ring, just an answer. I was spoken to, but before he could say anything else, I was so excited, my reflexes just hit the end button where my thumb was and it was over. Yes, stupid me, nerves, excitement, motor reflexes whatever. Lost the tickets and someone else got them. End of story. I bought two tickets for August now. $110 each

okay, i couldnt put to much info in my thread because the 300 word limit kept me from writing too much information. As a mom, i can't really go around wearing all this fancy makeup or whatever, it would be unreasonable. Also, i cut my hair to about chin length, and dyed it brown (i used to be blonde) because since im a mom, i wanted to look the part. when i was a model, I was 20-30 lbs underweight, so when I gained 50 lbs, it made a difference to my face. Also, i was NOT travelling from somewhere in the US to Chicago, i was travelling from my vacation in Korea to Chicago. I have a Dutch passport, so its different there. but anyways, im loosing weight and i acually got a new passport picture today so i wont be having this problem again

The spider was on her shoulder to those who asked.

Okay I'm the person that wrote this, I wrote it earlier today before I got my account and its one hundered percent true we talked about family we exchanged pics but i had never met him before he was my moms sisters son adn i have never met that part of my family because my mom was disowned for marrying my dad. his last name was my moms maiden name so i didnt think anything of it especially since its a common last name, SMITH. soo yes it may seem ridiculous but its real and awful

No, it was real. It was at Oriole Park at Camden Yards, which is never at capacity. And the tickets were the southwest airline new cheap ones, I think maybe $50. I went to fan assistance to try to get my ticket, and they said that they didn't even know about it, and the sponsor (southwest) was only there to distribute the flight tickets, then left. I tried calling, and they kept thinking I was trying to get extras for family or something. But, it was not a fake, the tickets were legit.

Hey update for everyone: I decided "surprise" my mother and sister by inviting my new boyfriend over for dinner but didnt say who it was. When he came through the door and I introduced him as my boyfriend they stared shocked at me realizing that they had put their feet in their mouths. And just to add a little more salt to their wounds, I kissed him, smiled sweetly at him and asked my sister and mother "So, what do you think of him again? Im sure he would like to know if you approve." Needless to say they got the hint that not only do I not have low self esteem but I am VERY PROUD to be his girlfriend lol btw they havent talked crap about him since!

OK, I'm the OP, let me explain why I fell for it: -I had very recently received invitations to join two legit honor societies (one I was just inducted to tonight at a formal ceremony at my school, the other has regular meetings and community service projects) -Believe it or not, I do actually have a 4.0 GPA as a junior and miscellaneous other qualifications, so being "accepted" to this honor society didn't seem to be a stretch or anything -As I'm ridiculously busy right now, I didn't Google it first or even look too deeply at their website, I just quickly completed the "application" (you go on their website, apply, and then wait to hear from them) which was free Once I actually got the "acceptance" I called my mom and told her about it. I got off the phone with her and Googled it to get more info about it (I'd never heard of it) and discovered it was a scam. I'm glad I did so because their "initiation fee" was 68 bucks, and I hadn't given them credit card info or anything yet. Obviously I felt stupid; I called my mom back a second later and told her. I'm just glad I didn't COMPLETELY fall for it... lol. I should have taken more time at the start, but #22 is right; I'm just lucky I didn't lose 68. I lost 10 minutes of time and a chunk of my pride. :P I was also pretty pissed/disappointed, but it's OK; I'm in two ACTUAL honor societies, so whatever... I don't need a fake one. ;)

haha wow there are some a*holes out there. actually I have very good vision and i am not intellectually stupid thanks... i was in a moving bus and it wasnt a garbage CAN.... i dont think people come in that shape, but a big bag of garbage that had split and stuff had come out and around the bag.. yeah. maybe next time this happens it will be one of the a*holes that commented on this lying in the gutter and i will remain silent. HAHA!