FML - The Follow-Up

Clarification: I broke the lamp by complete accident. I was vaccuming my living room and I caught the edge of the vaccuum on the end of the coffee table, and the light went crashing to the ground. I did tell my mom, and she was initially upset, but the lamp itself didn't have any sentimental value, making the situation a bit better. It was a vintage lamp she got at an auction in France. Thank you for your concerns and comments, haha, I've learned my lesson.

OP here. Yeah, so first off all of you who are bitching at me about the whole mastercard thing... I don't frequent this website enough to know which formats are enjoyable for those that do nothing and read this site, and those that do not. So if you're mad about that... I really couldn't care less. I honestly don't know which part of this thing is worse though... my girlfriend (who is away for school) cheating on me, or a good portion of the web junkies on this site telling me that I'm making it up.

This isn't your average chore, I do those for free. No allowance, just a hourly rate for the hardcore jobs.

Hi everyone, person who wrote the FML here. There seems to be some sort of confusion going on around here, I didn't laugh because my stepmother said that my grandmother was in a better place, It was just the wrong thing to burst out laughing to...not that the funeral helped at all. And thanks to those who made nice comments and stupid ones. It made my day a little bit better 8D

The "documents" were basically just data sets pulled from a database stored on a workstation in the office. This workstation is not backed up. Yes, the company is full of morons. No, I'm not fighting it because this was the last straw of many last straws. I don't want to work for these idiots any more.

Hi everyone, I'm the one who posted this. First of all. Of course I thanked him! and of course I could have gotten a cheaper lunch, I was going to in fact, but he offered, and insisted, so I accepted, and was very thankful. All of you who keep saying I'm a heartless bitch should have considered that I was commenting on the irony of it and that I was embarassed, instead of saying how my life sucked because someone was nice to me. I thought it was a funny story. I got the impression that many of the stories on this site are funny rather than tragic. I could of course have written he gave it to me and i was super thankful etc etc, but I thought that was kind of implied. Oh and about the currency. My lunch was 31 kroner. But as I currently live and study in the UK, i'm used to thinking in pounds and thought that would be easier for the majority of FML readers. But apparently that makes me a fake, sorry guys! And I do in fact give money to charity and homeless people. Not long ago I gave one man my last 8 pounds (this was in the UK), so he could buy a decent meal, figuring I would be OK until I got home 5 hours later. So those of you who got the irony and embarassement, thanks!

who says my tank top was low cut and my cleavage was showing ? my shirt doesnt need to be low cut for a bee to fly in. so you deserve to be run over :)

actually all you haters out there, i didn't have enough room to put my response! i actually turned to her and told her to **** off and to take her annoying fat ass out of the theater because she was blocking the view for everyone and no one could hear the movie over her irritating voice that makes people want to dropkick babies! that shut her up for the rest of the movie.

Alright, I'm the OP, and I left because I had a migraine and wanted to go lay down. I brought the cake inside and plopped it on the counter, since my parents said they would put it away. I did NOT have a party, and alright, my life sucks because I wanted an ice cream cake. I have no life, I have no friends, make you guys happy?

OK! On the form they DID ask if i was legally able to work in the US and if I was 21 or over (for driving purposes only, this was not a requirement for the job), but no where did it ask if i was 18. I brought my resume to the interview, and had i not given them this resume saying I was a current student at my high school and Running Start, they would not have asked if I was 18 or not. and to those scoffing about my greener practices and being excited about this job-- this was a great job making $9-$14/hr, anybody getting their first job would love to make $14/hr starting! it really did suck day of, i was supposed to go in the next day for training.' but i have another interview this coming week and life goes on :)

It was a parking lot for a grocery store. My car is a beige '82 300D Mercedes. I don't think it looks that suspicious. I've never been in a car accident in my whole entire life, then when I moved to Georgia, I was in 3 within my first year living here. I didn't cause any of them. If that happened to you, you'd understand why I park in a parking lot to let the traffic go by. I know it sounds shady, but after I explained this to you, does it still sound shady? Apparently the cops think so.

for any interested - my brother didn't have a license because it had already been revoked for DUI's. he blew a 0.24 on 'my' DUI. he was about 40 lbs heavier and 4 inches taller than my license info, so the cops didn't care. i did tell them who he was, but i haven't seen him in years and have no idea where he is or if he's alive or not. i reckon every family has at least one loser to deal with.

1) it doesn't matter that i'm a teen or not. 2) i have a boyfriend i've been dating for about a year. so i'm not a *****. stfu 3) she didn't take any, and it was to the situation. 4) we talked about it and it's fine. because: 'if you wanna make love, use the glove'. no joke she said that. so i'm relieved now gotta hide 'em from dad. XD and yes my parents are together for the person who asked. :)

Hey all - Thanks for the comments... I did have another job before quitting and I did give my 2 week notice. I'm not stupid in this kind of economy. When giving my 2 week notice, my boss offered to match my current salary and I denied it. I then saw the craigslist posting for more money after I already denied what my boss tried to match for me since I felt it was too late and my new job paid way more. Therefore the uneducated, stupid, and not doing well at my job part doesn't apply. However the undervalued, stupid boss does. :)

So this is my FML (and I'm pretty overjoyed that it actually got accepted), but to everyone who is talking about the pipes...this is a house we're renting and we didn't know that the pipes were OLD (not cheap). And our landlord never fixed them because it would cost about $17,000 to redo everything. So we had to deal with it. And we found this out AFTER the basement was flooded. So while I appreciate your attempt to insult me, didn't really work =)

ok , first of all, its not fake. second of all, i was actually sleeping, more just like, resting, with my eyes closed. also, i live in vancouver which is just above seattle, so we have beaches and we dont get snow. aaand yes it is really funny to see, just make sure you don't let them get you back ;)

yeah i broke both my arm and leg on my right side and a few ribs it's not fake

well, I think I just realized why OP's don't respond to comments.

I'm the OP, decided to make an account... Reason I put on so much weight is cause I had a car run up my leg by a 16 year old bitch who was too busy chatting on her phone to even notice she hit me. So after my broken foot, ankle, and leg "healed", I got to go through the process of starting rehab on all the torn stuff in my ankle. 18 months later, I can walk again with only a slight limp. Yay! Believe me, I'd love to be able to go out for a walk or hit the gym but some days (rainy days especally) going from bed to the bathroom is a chore and any kind of incline or decline hurts still. And I didn't know I was over 330 when I got to the store (got a scale too, 334... what a bitch, huh?) so that was a huge shock. Obviously I know I was overweight, but not this bad. Thanks to like the 10 people with kind words... the rest of you enjoy your summer, high school starts back up in about 8 weeks.

Okay im just going to say this now so everyone will get this. I have my OWN bank account that no one has access too accept me. I opened it when i was like 16 and got my first job. I saved the $4000 in a separate account that was in my moms name before i was 16, which i got just from mowing lawns and stuff. So Everyone stop saying "Well your dumb, that's your fault for letting your mom have access to your account". Also im not going to get into details, but it wasn't really my sisters fault, so i don't blame her. My sister and my mom have helped me out with a lot of things too.

1. my roommates a girl 2. My old roommate and I both bought the bong and split the price but when she transferred colleges she let me keep it 3. my roommate does drink usually 5 nights a week and she is 19 so she isn't exactly law abiding either

Okay so let me clarify some things that people are either stupid or confused about. I voluteered in an organization that has retirement homes all over the country, and helps seniors with limited means. I started volunteering, because it looks good on a resume and I was having a hard time getting a job. So I started volunteering at this retirement home, but I quickly grew to love it, and soon I was working hard because I truely enjoyed visiting with the seniors and delivering mail to them, among the other things I did there. Unknown to me, some of the residents started to complain about how I was nicer and more caring than most of the nurses. They didn't hire me because, I am not a nurse, and I don't have a college degree yet, so there was no position open for me. And the guy who "fired" me let me know why I was being let go, kinda in secret otherwise I doubt I would have been told why they let me go.

Hi, I'm the one that posted this FML. I know that cheating wasn't a good thing to do, but that wasn't the point of the FML. Had I simply found out that he was cheating with someone else, of either gender as I knew that he was bi when we entered the relationship, I would have said nothing. The reason I posted it, and the reason I do consider it to be an FML is because of the absolute ridiculousness of the fact that we were cheating with the SAME PERSON!!! The three of us have spoken and decided that none of us are going to continue seeing each other. The BF and I were obviously both deeply unhappy, and the third part took advantage of both of us. Ex and I will probably remain friends, and chalk this up to one of those errors in life that are hilarious five years later, but hurt like hell when they happen. #3 can go to hell for all I care

Hey, original poster here.. He wasnt trying to see me naked. We have a shower curtain where u can see out if ur in the shower but cant see in if your out. And i did almost die because i cracked my head open.

Ok everyone. I originally posted this FML as anonymous and didn't think it would make the cut. But it looks like I got a huge response. IT IS TRUE for all of you haters. My husband has been battling with this stone since September and he FINALLY passed it (after numerous X-rays and CT scans, ER visits, and going to see a specialist). It wasn't the size of a fist (like some of you had said) but it was pretty large considering it had to come out of a tiny hole :). It is not tiny by any means!!! It's decorative life on my kitchen counter will be limited because his urologist wants to analyze it. THANK GOD! As to how he got it out of the toilet for everyone who asked: He didn't pee into his hand...gross. It came out and he reached in the toilet with a gallon sized plastic bag covering his hand so he wouldn't be soaked in piss. His urologist gave him a strainer but that was on display in my bathroom for months and I threw it out...GO FIGURE! That strainer was huge though, how was he suppose to carry it around with him to piss in? On a chain around his neck?! The stone was easy to find because his was multi-colored (brown/black, and off-white). It has spike like features which looks scary and painful. He was going to get it blasted for everyone who still doesn't believe. The procedure is $10,000....and we don't have that kind of money (I'm sure our insurance would have covered some of it). Plus the blasting is not always successful. Every time my husband thought about getting it blasted, the stone would move around (just like a baby, lol) and he would be pissing blood for days. I had fun reading everyones comments. Hopefully, I answered all of the questions. Lea, Brad, and Brad's kidney stone :)

OP here, okay for all of those who are retarded and have never tried to submit an FML before, you only get 300 characters. Most people can put together that I got my food, went home, and put the drink on my window sill and fell asleep. I wasn't exactly thinking that the ice melted when I was more than half asleep and thirsty. I'm sorry that I can't describe my experience in intricate detail for all the retards that don't understand normal human talk. Thank you very much.

lol the mashed potatoes I had were kind of chunky, and so after I threw up, there were still bits of it left in my nose. I had to blow my nose to get them out, and so I blew chunks of taters out my nose into the tissue. my mom almost fainted. :)

I'm a poor college student so spending several thousand dollars on camera is way out of my budget. Trust me. It wasn't my idea to use my SLR. And if I had had it my way I'd have told my family members to shove it and put their own camera in the line of fire.

OK, yeah I posted this on the way home. I got home a showered instantly. Yes I am a minor. No I didn't take a drink from his beer, and I don't know why this got accepted. I am not an FML worker. Who gives a shit? If you didn't like it you didn't have to comment, or even read it. I really couldn't care less what you guys say, I just wanted to set some things straight. But yeah thanks for comments, so much! It only gives this FML more popularity. /End rant.

My skirt was knee-length and flowy (Im am artist and am therefore not required to dress like a square) and yes i was in-between waxings so it wasnt a jungle down there...just...neglected as I said haha And I dont think Im gonna get that job...you shoulda seen her face!