Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a Taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a YouTube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk and thought it would be funny to spray himself in the face with pepper spray. I was in his drunken firing line too. After him vomiting and being blinded for a few hours, he was fine. I, on the other hand, had a terrible allergic reaction and got rushed to hospital. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I was feeling really sick when I was with my boyfriend at the park. When we were walking, I got really dizzy and collapsed. My boyfriend didn't catch me. His mom took me to the hospital. While I was being poked with needles, he was at home playing COD. FML
Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
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Top comments
SugarCrazy 14
At least it wasn't a hand gun...
SugarCrazy 14
Morons will be morons..
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Comments (92)
SugarCrazy 14
At least it wasn't a hand gun...
jerseyboy732 16
damn your cute
GuessWhatKids 13
Hey 6, go on ******* eharmony. This isn't a dating site.
PottentialFML 0
lol at desperate Internet creepers, stay in the mineshafts
jerseyboy732 16
chill bro I'm just saying she was cute I'm not trying to pick her up
jerseyboy732 16
dang your cute
tktom7 6
so what's the video called?
GreenMaze 0
So how many views did he get.
rawrbassasaur 7
I see what you did there ;)
TheTweaker 0
Wow, what a shock that must have been.
MissCheeks8 0
playing with a taser is always a smart thing to do.. on tuesdays.
xxlauruh 0
not funny.
Tcaret300 12
I don't get it...
xdust 4
someone explain the joke.
That0therguy 4
Could you give me the backstory? I'm lost.
Anbuntou 8
Boys will be boys?
SugarCrazy 14
Morons will be morons..
PottentialFML 0
bitches will be hatin. Combo breaker
HyundaiOwner7 0
There wasn't really a combo yet.. you fail
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
I agree, 2-hit combo followed by a counter isn't really that epic.
mattyv98 0
well you should make his friends clean up his puke
betterthanu2 0
I agree, and make them pay for the gas. Jesus, what some guys won't do in the name of their own stupidity. No excuse for it, really.
GuessWhatKids 13
Lol, he sounds like a swell guy. Send him my way, I wouldn't mind getting assfucked senseless by the dear boy.
alex1432 9
did he shit his pants? I don't mean a prairie dog I mean a full load?
alex1432 9
*mean *dog
ShelbyyCakess 0
guys these days do the craziest things.
Hotlanta 5
you haven't the slightest idea ; )
That0therguy 4
Not just anything. Everything.
jasminea 0
hahaa, ground him for playing with dangerous materials!
Pinkanani 12
Hahaha, what's the link?
skyeyez9 24
There is a slight chance a taser shock can put your heart in spasms and stop altogether. He shouldn't play with tasers ever again.
firecapez 4
ok, mom -.-
ShyAnn29 14
so true
lilmisslovely13 15
haha 42