Today, while on the skytrain, a woman leaned on the railing bar that I was holding onto, crushing my hand. My first instinct was to move my hand when she turned around and began loudly yelling at me for, "Touching her waist" and "Sexually harassing" her. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML
Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML
Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML
Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 31
"No, you stupid bitch, your waist crushed my hand. Watch where you're leaning."
RichardPencil 30
That's so sad you were accused of waist-touching. It's so limiting. Had you grabbed her pussy, you could be on the road to great wealth, power, fame and adoration.
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Comments (33)
Tejanoswhy 19
What a bitch
gracehi 31
"No, you stupid bitch, your waist crushed my hand. Watch where you're leaning."
tantanpanda 26
This. This would actually work in the public setting. PC: Even more believable if she's visually capable of crushing your hand. Savage: if she's a whale, people will lend their sympathy.
Dilexar 26
i'll be honest, i didn't quite comprehend it correctly the first time, and i imagined the bar screaming at you for touching it. then i read it again and understood it correctly. not as funny as my first assumption.
crudeandrudeguy 29
See. We Canadians are rude and crazy too.
gracehi 31
I *knew* it!
SpyroMello 29
Could have been an American tourist/new citizen.
RichardPencil 30
That's so sad you were accused of waist-touching. It's so limiting. Had you grabbed her pussy, you could be on the road to great wealth, power, fame and adoration.
Lalala579121 27
And most likely becoming the prime minister at some point in the future.
DanielleinDC 33
No, no, no. It doesn't work that way. You have to be rich and famous BEFORE you can grab ******* with impunity.
sparkledoge 29
Aaah... Public transportation... This magical world where everything is sexual harassment and where you get crushed against various things by people who don't know they're not alone in there.
Tripartita 44
How romantic. It's like that scene from Titanic where Jack holds Rose on the bow of the ship… if Jack had accidentally crushed Rose and then complained about sexual harassment instead of proclaiming he was king of the world.
hoosierholla 17
I'm sorry op, this definitely is an FYL and you didn't deserve it. It seems like she honestly thought you were being creepy and touching her, though. If this was a real situation I would be glad she stood up for herself. However, since it was an accident (and her fault even) I hope you were able to explain that and she apologized!
SoulFrog 7
Hugh Mungus
megamonster99 18
Hugh Mungus for prez 2016
Rabite 28
It's sad that real sexual harassment happens so often that it's not easy to differentiate between it and getting touched by accident or even your own fault. In crowded spaces I normally move away a bit and wait some seconds before I get aggressive.