Kids: Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to...

By Nightmare - 15/01/2013 14:41

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 071

You deserved it 4 748

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Same thing different taste

The people of TikTok must be stopped

By Phil The Man - 04/09/2023 05:00

Today, I was sitting on the couch watching TV when I felt something crack on my head. My 6 year-old son had just smashed an egg into my hair. When I asked why, he said, "Mom does it for TikTok." This is how I found out that my wife has been "pranking" him for likes, and thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 128

Served cold

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 529

You deserved it 4 910

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 155

You deserved it 6 498

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 23:19 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 269

You deserved it 5 816

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 717

You deserved it 5 588

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 10:00

Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 1 738

By burned - 03/02/2015 20:45

Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 998

You deserved it 2 395

Proof

By George Saunders - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 154

You deserved it 54 235

Home improvement

By ... - 27/07/2014 05:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 322

You deserved it 5 394

By ahhhhhhh - 30/07/2019 14:00

Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 649

You deserved it 632

saksxalmo 20

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:09

World's youngest troll?

willbur73q 7

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:11

I have to say, I do love a good prank. Cruel, yes. Well done, for sure.

Comments

PenguinBitch 43

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:51

They did the prank on you because they saw me smoke weed. #PrankForPenguin

McAninch35 9

Wednesday 16 January 2013 18:15

wut

tazrek01 6

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:54

You're an idiot!

crazytwinsmom 25

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:13

Are you talking to OP or penguin?

SoultheWolf 19

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:56

I really hope you punish them both...

10showgirl 16

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:08

This means war. Time to play dirty.

thestoryofmylyf 20

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:24

Hahaha, bad prank ,but good

ronski 41

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:27

Well done to your daughter on a great performance, thankfully mine didn't do that. Time for her to exit stage left

KaiCer0 8

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:29

Best dramatic scene goes to...*insert drumroll* your daughter!

Reaper1984 13

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:34

And the Oscar goes to....

MalzxTheTerrible 4

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:43

That's awesome! I'd be proud of my troll children, and then plot my revenge.

Satoaoi 13

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:55

classic ketchup bit lol

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I've been talking to a chick since early this year and she seems to like me a lot. We were both drinking heavily and were talking on the phone, having a really good time. Suddenly it hangs up. I get her back on the phone just a few minutes later only to hear her getting the bottom knocked out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 281

Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 199

You deserved it 1 977

Today, I found out my husband has racked up $3000 on our credit cards, and ruined my credit score. When confronted, all he had to say was, "Well you didn't tell me when you bought that ten-dollar t-shirt, so I guess we're even." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 375

You deserved it 252

Today, I showed up on time for a job interview. After waiting for about three hours, I was informed that the manager had "better things to do" than interview me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 023

You deserved it 121

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 393

You deserved it 2 332

Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 255

You deserved it 2 339