Love: Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner....

By lovecrisis247 - 19/12/2010 07:46 - United States

Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 131

You deserved it 25 514

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Same thing different taste

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 991

You deserved it 7 933

Unloading

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 672

You deserved it 7 797

Meet the family

By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 487

You deserved it 29 037

Way to beat the "weird dad" allegations

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 291

You deserved it 3 300

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 09:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 785

You deserved it 6 152

By Anonymous - 24/11/2013 18:31 - France

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 565

You deserved it 4 522

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 326

You deserved it 7 538

By FML - 02/10/2015 21:45 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 551

You deserved it 4 256

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 489

You deserved it 2 868

By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 320

You deserved it 8 650

DocBastard 38

Sunday 19 December 2010 16:40

He snorted lasagna? Damn, I think you have bigger problems than his table manners.

dbomb88 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 16:35

he sounds very entheuastic about his work..

Comments

Mischief5Managed 0

Monday 20 December 2010 4:01

How else was he supposed to say it. The job in itself is what's embarrising. "i clear away fecal matter" is no more impressive than "i clean shit" lol

tygerarmy 35

Monday 20 December 2010 7:49

Exactly, if that's his job what else is he supposed to say? He may not be a janitor or custodial engineer he may just be a shit cleaner. Or maybe he is a janitor but either his personality or from how the night was going he decided that was the better or funnier response.

Shantasia 0

Monday 20 December 2010 4:59

That's what you get for having a slob for a boyfriend.

Psychotic_Snail 0

Monday 20 December 2010 6:57

"Dump" on the guy

Kennz 0

Monday 20 December 2010 7:34

Pick a better man sweety. Or at least pick one with some class.

beckieewood 0

Monday 20 December 2010 8:51

that's attractive :/

batman8 0

Monday 20 December 2010 11:45

job is job. gotta do do what you gotta do do

emjay09 0

Monday 20 December 2010 13:48

could have been worse. at least your mom didn't ask "what do you do?" and a reply of "your daughter."

alexFYL 11

Monday 20 December 2010 17:57

So does he clean poop... or polish poop... or clean items but with slang he calls it "shit"? I don't get it.

Mischief5Managed 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 4:27

Shouldn't dump someone just because of their job title. So he cleans shit. So what. It's a job, someone has to do it. Probably should've mentioned his occupation to your parents beforehand though to avoid this scenario.