Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
FreshToDeathEf 12
Tell her you're going to start appreciating the little things in life starting with her ****.
toongler 23
oooh that's rough OP. I'm sorry, but hey at least she's appreciating it!!!!
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Comments (113)
Clevelandians 17
I hate these FMLs. The girlfriend was joking. Hard to believe that anyone would say that seriously.
amanda182 19
Ooo burn hahah
alphasmartass93 21
Sorry for your situation, size usually matters though
alex_jaguara 33
Oh the irony. But don't take it so hard, it's not a dick.
rockwrench 18
Well, that gets a full mast on the petter meter.
joe3_fml 15
Gotta admit, she got you good.
Sathane 21
What's wrong with her appreciating your tiny, tiny, minuscule penis?
quesok 22
Maybe she has a pair of little things you can appreciate?
mattyiscool123 26
At least it's appreciated
Goblin182 26
she's paying attention to your penis. call it a win.