Miscellaneous: Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party...

By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 07:03 - United States - Tampa

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 152

You deserved it 2 532

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 469

You deserved it 3 821

By art_major - 25/05/2011 14:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 883

You deserved it 7 633

By parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 657

You deserved it 24 798

Happy birthday?

By Not really - 19/07/2018 15:00

Today, I picked up a birthday card for my dad at the supermarket in a mad rush. I didn’t realise that the inside said “From your daughter”. He thinks this was my way of coming out as trans, and said that he'd suspected it for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 416

You deserved it 1 057

By pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 212

You deserved it 3 818

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 213

You deserved it 4 089

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 154

How appropriate

By ohgod - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out my husband had bought my one year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 936

You deserved it 8 050

Glittery letters

By Anonymous - 27/01/2020 18:00

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 460

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 958

You deserved it 185

_Peppermint_ 34

Saturday 23 May 2015 23:56

No kidding!

player20270 32

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:04

I imagine your daughter won't enjoy the pictures from her birthday party, when she gets the real meaning of the shirt's phrase.

Comments

booze_n_bitches 37

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:10

At least it's accurate. I hope you told him to change, OP, that would be an awkward explanation to a load of 8 year olds!

lemonadestand 7

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:15

And their parents

lemonadestand 7

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:10

Isn't that just age appropriate. And every other kind of appropriate.

EarlFug 19

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:12

And tiny brain.

daken96 21

Sunday 24 May 2015 10:09

Well, a tiny head does mean a tiny brain.

apaul982 14

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:20

THAT MAN SPEAKS THE TRUTH!!!

abNormal62 23

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:22

Big piece of shit Short family visit

Joshawott 21

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:31

Well, he's not wrong.

sarcasmwins 24

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:41

Save that story for her 21st XD

Jord_Fox 14

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:48

Huge dick indeed

WOTAN1488 24

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:57

Well he wasn't lying.

metalgearsoldier 6

Sunday 24 May 2015 1:09

sounds about right

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I realized how hard it is to get a good night's sleep next to each other when we both fell asleep watching John Wick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 217

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 423

You deserved it 46 736

Today, my wife broke the TV during an argument with her mother, but it’s my fault because I "put the TV in such a stupid place" so I should pay for a new one. Anyone know any good divorce lawyers? Stick the number in the comments, I’m so done with her bullshit and her crazy family of assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 153

Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 947

You deserved it 7 592

Today, I finally did the splits for the first time in my life! Unfortunately, it happened when I stepped in wet dog poop on my kitchen floor. One foot slipped forward in it, and I fell right on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 510

You deserved it 249

Today, I tried to contact my college's financial aid office. After listening to the same damn "Our counselors are busy" message for over an hour, someone picked up the phone and hung up immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 730

You deserved it 3 202