Kids: Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old...

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 03:51 - Australia

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 332

You deserved it 3 098

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Same thing different taste

Quiet

By Deborah - 27/10/2011 06:41 - United States

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 857

You deserved it 40 569

By Anonymous - 02/07/2016 04:17 - United States - Hayward

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 144

You deserved it 3 826

Home sweet home

By readytomove - 18/09/2025 12:00

Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 48

By fineillpissthebedthen - 07/02/2013 22:56 - Denmark - ?lborg

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 157

You deserved it 2 525

Suburbia

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 14:05 - United Kingdom

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 874

You deserved it 3 027

By yrfavweapon - 02/07/2010 19:29 - United States

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 544

You deserved it 3 880

By Nick - 20/07/2013 19:37 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 249

You deserved it 5 121

Make it stop

By Anonymous - 10/01/2016 13:17 - United States - Waldorf

Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four-month-old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 573

You deserved it 1 582

Lame

By gloria77 - 23/01/2012 23:26 - United States

Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 387

You deserved it 7 502

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 516

You deserved it 6 063

tweetyzyaw 20

Saturday 30 May 2015 23:57

Time to call the Fuzz

manateesarecool 13

Sunday 31 May 2015 0:00

She has a nice vocabulary

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 31 May 2015 3:08

purchase some ear plugs for her. when you deliver them, politely remind her that your two house guests, Smith and Wesson, aren't too keen on you being threatened

Vani13 10

Sunday 31 May 2015 3:16

Lovely woman.

Hop6e 22

Sunday 31 May 2015 3:39

I'd wash her mouth out with soap myself. Rude person. You have a 2 year old! What does she want from you?

bugluv3 7

Sunday 31 May 2015 4:51

Two DAY old

Goream 8

Sunday 31 May 2015 3:42

That's one of the many reasons i live in the country side. i hate neighbors. always nosy and/or noisy.

pizzafrommars 14

Sunday 31 May 2015 4:23

I agree. Kids ******* suck.

kylar19 2

Sunday 31 May 2015 4:25

I'd call the cops on harrassment, death threats and bomb threats

melanielovejeff 15

Sunday 31 May 2015 4:39

I currently live in an apartment and my neighbour is a crackhead/ crackhead. She did the same thing when I moved in with my children. My response was to call the cops on her every time she bothered me. I even started a log book in case the landlord decides to take her to court and kick her out. Now she knows I won't put up with her skitso behaviour. I told her to her face that I will continue to call the cops on her every time she plays music...etc

melanielovejeff 15

Sunday 31 May 2015 15:14

I meant to say she is a crackhead and a crack dealer. The cops know her well in town before I got involved.

balake_fml 8

Sunday 31 May 2015 4:45

Lots of crazy neighbors today

healthcarechick 9

Sunday 31 May 2015 4:49

Omg what a ******* psycho!!! You better have weapons to protect yourself!!!

shinikageWolf 15

Sunday 31 May 2015 5:01

"WELL MAYBE MY DAUGHTER WOUL SHUT UP IF SHE DIDNT HAVE TO BREATH IN YOUR CRACK PIPE SMOKE EVERY ******* NIGHT! SMOKE IS BAD FOR HER LUNGS YOU **** BRICK!" Or something like that back to her.