Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a...

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 644

You deserved it 35 949

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 211

You deserved it 12 034

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 414

You deserved it 5 006

By oumalina - 12/08/2010 01:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 090

You deserved it 8 430

Hidden secret

By anonymous - 01/10/2016 09:00 - Australia - Tennyson

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 323

You deserved it 2 155

Hangry for that Mickey D's

By anonymous - 23/07/2021 07:59

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 183

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 727

You deserved it 9 316

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 205

You deserved it 4 861

Smooth talker

By Kate - 07/03/2009 18:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 789

You deserved it 8 268

By unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 175

You deserved it 6 923

The art of seduction

By Anonymous - 26/10/2020 19:58

Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 238

Wheredidgrungego 12

Tuesday 24 January 2012 15:51

We're men. We don't waste food.

lolmigosh 15

Tuesday 24 January 2012 15:51

Talk about a yummy burger!

Comments

markrs 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 15:59

BURGER! BURGER! BURGER!

nickyjp 17

Tuesday 24 January 2012 15:59

There had better be bacon on that burger

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 24 January 2012 17:06

Or God help them all....

Nick_1993 2

Sunday 12 February 2012 13:22

And egg, and another patty, and more cheese, and take off all that vegan crap, and more bacon. And top it off with fry sauce. (look it up, Utah food)

year2015 11

Tuesday 27 January 2015 1:31

#282 and DIET coke.

keyboo 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 15:59

It was just a really good burger don't take it personally :)

BoiWonder 5

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:04

ELISE YOU FORGOT TO MENTION IT WAS A DEEP FRIED BURGER.

Monkeybuttcream 4

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:05

Sorry OP, Cheese burger before muff burger-that's just how it is.

Johnny6speed 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:05

Somebody needs bigger breastacles

TheFirstSamurai 18

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:48

Is that a mixture of breasts and testicles? Because I think that would actually succeed in putting him off his food.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 24 January 2012 17:12

Some one's been visiting too many she-males.

CaptainPickles72 18

Tuesday 24 January 2012 17:19

#22- the correct term is chesticles. #61- Wait a minute... is there something wrong with she-males? I mean... I'm not asking for myself... I'm asking for a friend... yeah, a friend.... DON"T JUDGE ME!!

Pentium_4 27

Tuesday 24 January 2012 17:59

i was expecting to see a fatty dip in your picture haha

jonriise18 3

Tuesday 24 January 2012 21:34

I was gonna say.... Is there such a thing as too many she-males!?

surfnshred 2

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:07

makes sense of it was in n out

wisese 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:08

This isn't an fml AT ALL. First of all, who the hell gets frisky while eating? That's kind of gross. If he hadn't finished the burger, what were you going to do with it? Set it aside and let his greasy fingers and mouth fondle your breasts? Ew. Additionally, he wanted to fool around too. He didn't choose the burger over you, he just used common sense and finished what he was doing before moving on to you.