Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was finally time for both of us to have sex with each other. He kept his shoes on the whole time because he thought he had smelly feet. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
PhantomCrevan 8
Well... is their odor there? Or unusual discharge? Or had you simply not bathed recently? If he seriously felt your mothers were so unsanitary he needed to use gloves, then either something IS wrong, or he has some issues he needs to work out. Which, don't be surprised if said issues turn out to be his **** habits gave him unrealistic standards and expectations of how that anatomy is supposed to be.
bluejello2001 18
Yeah, it does not sound like this is a guy who is mature enough for sex.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (28)
Velan Prabhakaran 9
tell your boyfriend to use hand sanitizer???
Seymore Collins 7
Apologies to be the bearer of bad news, but your boyfriend is gay. Don't take it personally, help him in his journey of discovery and the current denial he is living in.
PhantomCrevan 8
Someone having altered perception of vaginas does not make them gay by default. Most of the time, it means that they had really shitty sex ed and "learned" about sex from ****.
xXxCAS666xXx 3
Well, atleast he fingered you?
Lyshan 10
Next time he wants a bj, put some toothpaste into his hand and tell him it's smelly and unhygienic down there.
sharond23 10
whoa!! I would have stopped him right there. that's just wrong and I wouldn't even consider sex with someone who has that attitude.
PrincessK 11
how embarrassing
rylowsgirl 9
Him pulling out a rubber glove wasn't a game stopper?
randybryant799 20
And you still had sex with him? Are you kidding me? He's obviously not old enough or mature enough for sex.