emilyhendrix0414
United States
Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
buccaneer
Piscataway, United States
Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
anonamous
United States
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Anonymous
Southfield, United States
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
ZAnon
Houston, United States
Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML
anyonmus
Westminster, United States
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Anonymous
Naughty boy
Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Tucson, United States
Doggy dog world
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
smellsofeggs
United Kingdom
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
g'day cunt
Adelaide, Australia
Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML
Vee
United States
Beast Mode
Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML
Top comments
greenie213 23
To dogs, everything is food!
Srs_business 7
The dogs not fat just a little husky.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
Epikouros 31
Lipstick = grease = food. Woof!
alycion 38
For a breed bred to survive on small portions, huskies are the most food obsessed creatures ever. Mine now climbs up the back of my chair to reach where the cat food is. The other day I was making a sandwich and he snuck behind me when I went to get the meat and stole the bread.
chillinAK 9
I almost wish mine would do these things once in a blue moon. She is such a good girl I will be surprised when she does otherwise.
alycion 38
Mine isn't even a year old yet. We just keep correcting him. Only thing we can do. For the most part he is a very well behaved dog. Most of the problems I have are just him bring a puppy. I see him outgrow more and more each month. Patience and training seem to be the trick. My other one was an evil genius. I think if she had opposable thumbs she would have taken over the world.
loloalltheway 23
Dont feed your dog that much so he won't be overweight ...
CastielJ 6
should of got an Alaskan Malamute.
Etweens96 25
I have a seven year old female tortoise shell cat, she does the same thing when i have something in my hand or have a cheese stick in my hand, especially the cheese stick.
thathipsterchick 2
Argh! Can't... Breath... *passes out with obese dog on top*
Blahblah9921 4
damn girl ! do somethin
natsaysheyyy 16
He's overweight because you feed him too much. He attacked you for "food" because you didn't train him properly and he doesn't respect you.
jaycooter 0
Put the overweight dog on a diet and train it to behave!!!!!
lambda_fml 40
Does she say "I love youuu"? :D