Today, marks three weeks since I started my new dream job. It also marks the second time this week alone that I've clogged the toilet in the restroom. I'm almost 100% sure all my coworkers know it was me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML
Today, I unclogged a toilet. With my hand. For the second time this week. FML
Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, it's been a week since I hired a 17 year-old guy to work at my store. Three of his friends decided to come in today and "prank" him by all three taking a shit in one toilet and clog it. The toilet overflowed. FML
Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
Today, I started a new job. I also started my period, and have the shits. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I got an email from a colleague with a picture in it of shit on the toilet seat. The email said, "Not pointing fingers but I left you out of the last email." I pee a lot and so I use the toilet a lot. I think everyone at work thinks it was me. FML
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Top comments
blackh3t 1
Two words “courtesy flush”.
RichardPencil 30
You need to take that advice, "Don't shit where you work," literally. (I don't know why that figuratively means "don't have sex with coworkers," but it does.) Whenever you feel the urge, run over to a competitor's bathroom and clog their toilet in a diabolical act of industrial sabotage.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 30
You need to take that advice, "Don't shit where you work," literally. (I don't know why that figuratively means "don't have sex with coworkers," but it does.) Whenever you feel the urge, run over to a competitor's bathroom and clog their toilet in a diabolical act of industrial sabotage.
Gofuckyourself 24
Haha oh my lord.. how do you come up with these answers?
chosha_fml 26
That saying is “don’t shit where you eat.” As in don’t threaten your income by doing something dumb with a co-worker.
RichardPencil 30
That’s even stupider! Not all workplaces have cafeterias. A lot of people don’t eat at work. A better one, albeit sexist, is “Don’t dip your pen in the company ink.”
blackh3t 1
Two words “courtesy flush”.
Yudith 25
In her case, it's gonna be "poop knife".
ajh1800 25
Time to learn how to unclog a toilet.
MissReanimator 11
You might want to consult with a doctor, buddy. Either your diet is messed up or your intestinal tract is.
fde2blknimout 18
Either you’re a woman who wraps her hand in toilet paper or a man who doesn’t respect a courtesy flush
randybryant799 20
What is wrong with you? You need to flush part way through.