Today, I was complaining to my roommate that I never get asked out. Then, at work, a mentally challenged man left me his phone number on his pay ticket. Well, I guess I can't complain about never getting asked out. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, while working as a waitress, an attractive woman sat at one of my tables. When she paid, I decided to be bold and write my number and "Call me" on her receipt. She put in a complaint to my manager. FML
Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML
Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML
Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML
Today, I was finally asked out on a date after a year of being single. Turns out he got the wrong number. FML
Today, I had a very good-looking guy ask for my number while I was at work, but due to our policies I had to turn him down. FML
Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML
Today, I'm so lonely, I wrote my number on a desk at my university, hoping someone would text me. FML
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Top comments
AngryNinja 1
poor man. he probably doesn't realize he's different. don't bitch about it, i feel bad for him. :(
24788 6
Creepy older man would of been worst.
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Comments (142)
perdix 29
So what's the problem? Go to his place with two Happy Meals, watch Dora the Explora and show him your woo-woo. A good time will be had by all.
xHabsfanx 0
Oh so that's what mentally challenged people do these days,eh? eat happy meals and watch Dora the explorer?
demoon_fml 7
lol. Perdix ftw.
perdix 29
Arbusto -- bush. Arbusto -- bush! Yay! Can someone help me with the Spanish for "The Shocker?"
honestlove11 0
I usually think your comments are funny..this one..sucks. I don't find humor in making fun of mentally handicapped people. "look at those retards making fun of the mentally handicapped people" :]
perdix 29
Sorry you don't like it, but considering these are anonymous people that we'll never know (they might not even exist!), I still they are fair game for a bit of ribbing. Anyways, the real butt of the joke is the OP.
honestlove11 0
I do suppose you're right. I get kinda defensive about it sometimes cuz I have family members and then some really nice handicapped people in my community. I wasn't like mad, cuz getting mad is pointless. Ya know. Since we don't know eachother. S'all good :]
oneoneryperv 0
^this you never know, he could be part man part horse.
CallMeHush 0
Just a guess but would you get more dates if you had like 7 or 8 less facial piercings and hair that didn't look like your mother ****** a peacock?
babiicakess 0
^ this!
77_PUNKER 0
@19 my hair looks like my mom ****** a peacock haha
arissia 0
How is this a bad thing?
serenaaaa_fml 0
haha, I bet ur roomate paid him to do tht to make you feel better
elvgar 0
i dont think retards can take a bribe?
boarder700 0
You better be careful talking about mentally challenged people. Sarah Palin is gonna get ya.
Snow_Daisy 7
lmAo!!! This comment cracked me up!!
i_is_a_tr00l 0
YDI FOR KILLING JESUS.
Residence_fml 4
Yeah he indeed must have been mentally challenged at the moment he asked you out. I feel sorry for him. When you don't get asked out ASK SOMEONE OUT, right now you sound like you're an annoying girl waiting for some handsome intellegent guy to notice you and at this rate - never. gonna. happen. Good luck
iamchuck 0
He may not be a smart man, but I'm sure he knows what love is. Don't be like that bitch, Jenny. That ends in AIDS, which is fyl for real.
phillies_26 0
wow, ignorant bitch, apparently you don't even deserve him. or anyone for that matter.
AlcaSMT 0
The man's mentally challenged. Maybe he left his number on his ticket for some bogus reason, not to ask you out; in which case leaves you still to your clean record :)