Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don't think I'll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
Today, I woke up earlier to food prep for lunch later. Just as I was preparing the ingredients, I dropped a thick glass saucer on the kitchen counter and it shattered like a hail storm - everywhere in the kitchen. I ended up spending more time cleaning it out and obviously logged in to work later than usual. FML
Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML
Today, at my new job waitressing, I walked into a glass door at full speed while carrying a tray of drinks. Not only did I spill everything, but I also left a weird make up face print on the glass for everyone to laugh at. FML
Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML
Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a party when I accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, I walked into the glass door of my boss’s cabin and broke my spectacles. Thank god for a backup pair, right? Wrong. I fell down the stairs and broke them too. FML
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Top comments
hockeyrocks39 0
If people weren't so sue happy these days you wouldn't have to worry about losing your job over something that's worthy of an apology and paying to have it fixed. Now some jackass is probably going to sue over a little tiny cut, probably not as big as a paper cut. But now the "Victim" can't walk by windows any longer for fear of being showered by glass and oh all the sleepless nights from the horror and pain of the mighty 1/4" gash in their pinky finger... sorry OP wrong place wrong time...
snickardoodlez 0
Because spinning your keys automatically make you stupid. /logic
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Comments (91)
steeledwolf 8
To be honest... that takes some major skill op... Notice most the people saying "aww... you retard" Minus the losing job part and cutting people.. other than that.. damn nicely done shot.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Should I get out the Anal Intruder 3000?
FruitSalad4225 0
This is the greatest comment thread ever.
EvilPotato 14
this my friends, is winning.
Jetboii808 0
Ydi everyone knows you're supposed to twirl them around your schlong
lilbarnhart 0
I was lookin for about 1.75 but I guess 1.25 will work too
TheBoss47_fml 3
Did you get the keys
BigMacBoi 3
Bahaha I think I'll start collecting my dirty underwear if you know what in saying ;)