Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don't think I'll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
Today, I woke up earlier to food prep for lunch later. Just as I was preparing the ingredients, I dropped a thick glass saucer on the kitchen counter and it shattered like a hail storm - everywhere in the kitchen. I ended up spending more time cleaning it out and obviously logged in to work later than usual. FML
Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML
Today, at my new job waitressing, I walked into a glass door at full speed while carrying a tray of drinks. Not only did I spill everything, but I also left a weird make up face print on the glass for everyone to laugh at. FML
Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML
Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a party when I accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, I walked into the glass door of my boss’s cabin and broke my spectacles. Thank god for a backup pair, right? Wrong. I fell down the stairs and broke them too. FML
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Top comments
hockeyrocks39 0
If people weren't so sue happy these days you wouldn't have to worry about losing your job over something that's worthy of an apology and paying to have it fixed. Now some jackass is probably going to sue over a little tiny cut, probably not as big as a paper cut. But now the "Victim" can't walk by windows any longer for fear of being showered by glass and oh all the sleepless nights from the horror and pain of the mighty 1/4" gash in their pinky finger... sorry OP wrong place wrong time...
snickardoodlez 0
Because spinning your keys automatically make you stupid. /logic
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Comments (91)
california283 6
look at the bright side ... at least you get to sleep in tomorrow....
FreebirdIII 1
You must have small fingers. I put my keys on a key ring, that still does not fit on my fingers. Were you a janitor with 500 keys on a D ring? Just leave them clipped to your belt loop, problem solved.
FarSide 22
Small fingers, small feet mean only one thing. Yeah, I would say OP's entire life is FU.
valalvax 13
my god you have some fatass fingers, around here keyrings measure about a quarter inch in diameter
jaint 0
anybody who uses the word nonchalantly deserves whatever comes to them
Soloman212 28
You just did, so I guess you deserve the thumbs-downs?
gameboybooa 0
of course you'll have a job tmrw. you'll just get fired once you clean the place
XXliterallyXX 0
and if you do get to keep the job you're recklessness is bound to get you "fired" anyway. literally.
EvilPotato 14
I'm totally coming too this sounds like fin. xD
Soloman212 28
Tin also sounds like fin.
Jorcar 8
If you were "nonchalantly" spinning your keys, I see it as slowly doing so. It sounds to me like there was no nonchalant about it, but I could be wrong since I wasn't there. And if customers were around to see you spin your keys, I'm guessing you should have just not done that since they could see you goofing off at work. I could also see this as something I would do, but nonetheless, I must dub this YDI. I wish thee best of luck on keeping your job though.
EvilPotato 14
I meant *fun*
XXliterallyXX 0
you're career has been shattered. literally.
FlyingLazerWALRU 0
OH YESH! THAT ISH DAH BESTEST DING EVA! Oh, look what you've done, you made my IQ level drop temporarily to below 50.