Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML
Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML
Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML
Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML
Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML
Today, I was asleep on a plane. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone around us laughed. FML
Today, while on the bus, I began to fall asleep. Suddenly, a man next to me started laughing very loudly, scaring me and jolting me out from my nap. I was so scared, I reflexively punched the girl in front of me in the face. I was pinned down by three other men while the cops were called. FML
Today, while dropping my son off at the bus stop before school, I went to give him a kiss on the cheek. Then, before I was able to make contact, he jumped away, yelled "PSYCH!!!!" as loud as he could, and jumped on the bus. The kids all laughed at me and the other parents looked embarrassed for me. FML
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
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Top comments
Thisismypchere 8
Haha, she might have thought it was funny and or cute so it may not be that big of a deal. But FYL anyway.
globetrottter 3
Way to show her your 'nerves of steel' :)
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Comments (81)
PotatoSupahNinja 3
OP: -screams and flails- Girl: Omg did it scare you that much? OP: No... Um... Uh... You see I have PTSD. I'm actually an ex-secret agent. See OP? That's how you handle that. :p
smoke_eater05 0
I would've jumped when I first got back but now, I barely flinch. But I'm sure I could play the sympathy card well. Us Marines are human too, you know...
ICastillo 24
That's different tho but, anyways thank you for your service bro
starwind3438 9
Pansy.
THE_A_TEEN 27
Yeah, because sudden loud noises never scare a "big, strong man" like you.
ucoolgirl31 20
I suppose it shows that you're sensitive.
perdix 29
Maybe she always wanted a little sister?
reddudeover 2
Just because he was making small talk (talking about his penis) doesn't make him any less of a man.
DocBastard 38
You should've yelled "GRENADE!!" and jumped on top of her to "protect" her. That way she thinks you're a brave hero AND you get to cop a feel at the same time. It's a win-win!
btwmellarkc 11
Your comments never seem to dissapoint Doc
laden_swallow09 34
I wish I could delete my postings while I can still edit.
hemz_fml 13
Maybe she thought it was cute
luvscomplic8ed 6
*facepalm*
ImSoEffedUp 10
At least she knows that you're not from da ghetto or the projects.... You'd be used to hearing what seemed to be gunshots...probably would've ending up shooting somebody ....not sure if that's a good or bad thing though....
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Hey, you never know, she could LIKE to be the man of the couple lol