Miscellaneous: Today, I turned 30 years-old. My dad, the only living relative...

By willieboom - 30/05/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, I turned 30 years-old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 732

You deserved it 3 061

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By NotSoComfortable - 17/12/2015 09:10 - Italy - Pontecchio Polesine

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 856

You deserved it 2 433

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 01:40 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 007

You deserved it 3 455

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 1 164

By thanks - 02/05/2014 18:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 016

You deserved it 3 528

By AM - 31/08/2015 21:46

Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 645

You deserved it 1 948

By Anonymous - 14/04/2018 15:00

Today, I realised yesterday was my 30th birthday. What made it worse is that my parents forgot, along with my other relatives and friends. No cards, no texts, no calls, no Facebook messages. Nothing. Happy 30th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 646

You deserved it 651

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 749

You deserved it 5 792

That's creepy, dude

By Anonymous - 04/10/2021 11:01

Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 107

Roll with it

By jonasister - 15/04/2012 18:43 - Sweden - Lund

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 451

You deserved it 3 350

Thanks for that, dad!

By Anonymous - 13/10/2019 01:00

Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 259

CassT 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:33

Oho damn, no one needs to hear that. Happy birthday, man ! :)

bosco_kk 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:37

Once my dad told me his complete sex life, with horrid, horrid details. So I feel your pain. FYL, and happy birthday by the way.

Comments

luckyducky123 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:15

Happy Birthday!!! Its my birthday today too. haha.

Cykik 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:23

That sounds extremely awkward O.o But Happy birthday anyway! ^.^

reader1 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:30

Really guys, not every FML can be a YDI. Next we'll be seeing "YDI for being born and having a birthday." OP-that sucks. but, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :)

Itsallgoodhere 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:30

I moderated this one =) but that sucks, hope it wasn't a detailed conversation. Maybe he was drunk? Anyways happy birthday! :)

StuckZ 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:39

At least the FMLers are wishing you a happy birthday =) Have a great one! And ignore your dad.

bluephoenix1498 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:39

A senior center? I hope it was the receptionist or the nurse...not the tenants. Happy birthday

happy_me 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:40

looks like your dad is getting more action than you are. but relly, I feel for ya man. happy three-oh!

Bertski909 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:54

your dad is awesome

annahoward 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:55

UUUH that's just wrong! sorry about your messed up father being the only relative you have. Happy birthday dude,hope you find someone special.

Pepperolls 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:55

Happy Birthday lol, hope you get married soon!

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You deserved it 7 459

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I agree, your life sucks 33 889

You deserved it 3 738

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I agree, your life sucks 21 727

You deserved it 15 445

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I agree, your life sucks 23 955

You deserved it 64 536

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 745

You deserved it 8 174