Miscellaneous: Today, I turned 30 years-old. My dad, the only living relative...

By willieboom - 30/05/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, I turned 30 years-old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 732

You deserved it 3 061

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Same thing different taste

By NotSoComfortable - 17/12/2015 09:10 - Italy - Pontecchio Polesine

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 856

You deserved it 2 433

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 01:40 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 007

You deserved it 3 455

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 1 164

By thanks - 02/05/2014 18:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 016

You deserved it 3 528

By AM - 31/08/2015 21:46

Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 645

You deserved it 1 948

By Anonymous - 14/04/2018 15:00

Today, I realised yesterday was my 30th birthday. What made it worse is that my parents forgot, along with my other relatives and friends. No cards, no texts, no calls, no Facebook messages. Nothing. Happy 30th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 646

You deserved it 651

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 749

You deserved it 5 792

That's creepy, dude

By Anonymous - 04/10/2021 11:01

Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 107

Roll with it

By jonasister - 15/04/2012 18:43 - Sweden - Lund

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 451

You deserved it 3 350

Thanks for that, dad!

By Anonymous - 13/10/2019 01:00

Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 259

CassT 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:33

Oho damn, no one needs to hear that. Happy birthday, man ! :)

bosco_kk 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:37

Once my dad told me his complete sex life, with horrid, horrid details. So I feel your pain. FYL, and happy birthday by the way.

Comments

bettyboo_x 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 1:21

what the fuck42? how the hell is his mum a ****?? n OP? Happy Birthday! :)

o_m_g_joe 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 1:28

hot piece of ass at the SENIOR CENTER lmfao oh my god thats a classic i love it happy birth day anyway

microfilms 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 1:32

Does your dad spend the day at the races blowing out all the family cash?

Sonuvabitch 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 1:36

Holy shit, old people do it? I had no idea. (Time to consult the internet)

wellchit 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 1:49

maybe thats his way of wishing you a happy birthday? they need a "my dad kicks ass" button on this thing.

oopsyipooped 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 2:12

your life is beyond ******. Happy birthday

WhiteDelight 4

Sunday 31 May 2009 2:13

ah, that was a great night. my ass still hurts, your dad is a big man ;)

CurdledMilk 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 2:21

Ew... :| Anyway, happy birthday! :D

UnreasonableShot 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 2:27

Do I notice a similarity to the book Great Gatsby? Please note the sarcasm. Happy birthday, I hope everyone in your life simply forgot; it happens to all of us (the majority anyway).