Today, I overheard a couple talking behind me. She said, "You wanna know what's really scary?" He said, "the size of that guy? Yeah he's huge", to which she replied, "no, the scary thing is that's a chick." They weren't talking about me, but they sure were talking about my girlfriend. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML
Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend talking to her friends, saying the most attractive guys are tall and dark-skinned. I'm about average height and pale. Uh-oh. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the girl he really likes sees me as a threat. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, it was insinuated that my only other female co-worker is seeing the guy I'm seeing. He bashes her all the time to me, too. Now, I wonder what he says about me, to her. FML
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Top comments
briedis 0
If you like her the way she is, what's the problem?
shananigans 0
Is it just me, or does anyone else REALLY wish people could post pictures with their FML submissions, because every time I see one of these "I was mistaken for someone of the opposite gender" I get really curious about what the person actually looks like...
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Comments (143)
irishpotatoes 5
It took me a while to understand that but are you like a lesbian?
DusktheKat 12
Are you lesbian? No offense or anything... I support your decisions but your bio says female.
MadisonDerp 16
Turn around and defend her! (I know most people wouldn't have enough confidence to do that but) it'd be really sweet if you had
rocky1215 6
messed up, cuz she probably has a really poor self image, and if you heard it, she most likley did...that just sucks bro
zarosian 17
Don't listen to what other people say op if you like her that's all what matters
nachosbabygurl 9
way to defined your woman
mchmelev1993 10
You know what i would beat their a double s brooklyn ny style so they would end up being the ones saying "fml"!
LyricaSilvan 29
I hope you stood up for her...
ReiracsNeve 17
Did you smart mouth em for talking shit about your girlfriend?