Miscellaneous: Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has...

By Bandking - 17/03/2014 21:48 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 168

You deserved it 5 487

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Same thing different taste

By sayroshi - 30/06/2016 18:29 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML

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You deserved it 1 335

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

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You deserved it 905

Thwack

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, all while sending blood down my horn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 123

You deserved it 4 213

By Anonymous - 02/09/2011 13:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 881

You deserved it 20 261

By Tp - 30/06/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 903

You deserved it 28 925

By Anonymous - 12/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was at the park and needed to take a piss really badly. I opened my car door and stood to pee, but good old Mother Nature ran by and the wind blew it all into my car. My entire driver side smells like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 3 874

By good-samaritan-fail - 06/10/2009 15:56 - Australia

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 171

You deserved it 9 449

By Anonymous - 27/08/2018 18:30 - United States - Compton

Today, I was at a pool party with my friends. I really had to pass gas so I moved a bit from the group and let it rip. Instead of bubbles surfacing a brown cloud of poo rose instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 572

You deserved it 3 251

Wet leg

By meep - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

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You deserved it 497

Rough patch

By Jeff - 04/05/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was giving a speech at my best friend’s wedding. Mid-speech, I felt something was off. I looked down and realized I had a huge stain on my trousers. Not just a small stain, but a whole wet patch from crotch to knee. I had to finish the speech with one hand covering it. I later sniffed it, it was only champagne, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 148

wildcats909 9

Tuesday 18 March 2014 8:08

If your city's parade and drinking celebrations were anything like mine - you definitely weren't the only one that pissed your pants

bjhhjh 20

Tuesday 18 March 2014 8:02

Just blame it on being drunk! St patricks day eh!

Comments

emilyyy_maryyy 14

Tuesday 18 March 2014 22:50

Gosh, this was one of the reasons I gave up on the trumpet in seventh grade. Something about spit being drained on my shoes just turned me off..

bluefrootloops 13

Tuesday 18 March 2014 23:44

Could be worse.

rybaby23 8

Tuesday 18 March 2014 23:52

If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis! If you know that quote, your amazing and I love you. Sorry about the pants though OP!

MegaError101 10

Wednesday 19 March 2014 0:35

French horn? I know your pain ;_;

obxkaylee 4

Wednesday 19 March 2014 1:35

Ooh! What town's parade?

frede120897 15

Wednesday 19 March 2014 2:34

Maybe people thought you were just a bit to horny...

Bandking 12

Wednesday 19 March 2014 4:03

Hey this is bandking. I play Bari sax, and I live in Cleveland... ._.

Shade1982 20

Wednesday 19 March 2014 10:47

It took me a moment to figure out op was talking about a musical instrument. The comment looks very differently if you don't know that...

AppleBirthday 7

Thursday 20 March 2014 6:03

The things we go through for band. I feel you my friend.

okometve 5

Thursday 20 March 2014 16:36

I marched In the st.Patricks day parade too.

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