Intimacy: Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to...

By Ballhugger - 06/12/2009 20:42 - Canada

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 601

You deserved it 11 176

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Same thing different taste

Mah bawsac

By Anonymous - 12/07/2014 20:19 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 039

You deserved it 8 055

Spiked

By Kmcc - 22/04/2019 12:00

Today, while having sex with my wife, I got a sudden leg cramp. While sliding off the bed, I found a sewing needle. With my ball sack. I ended up with a one-inch gash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 734

You deserved it 278

Ouchie

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 921

You deserved it 8 228

Agony

By Ouch - 22/12/2021 22:59 - Netherlands

Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 173

You deserved it 217

Misunderstood

By Blah - 24/01/2010 22:24 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 357

You deserved it 9 221

By whoslade - 28/06/2012 17:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 932

You deserved it 4 592

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 603

You deserved it 4 659

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 987

You deserved it 2 665

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 659

You deserved it 901

By man-period? - 02/03/2016 06:48 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 457

You deserved it 1 635

hXcsoccerplaya 0

Monday 7 December 2009 2:40

those nightmares must suck balls! heh heh

perdix 29

Monday 7 December 2009 2:50

Whatever you do, don't go see "The Nutcracker!" You'll have another nightmare and completely crush your 'nads!

Comments

icanspellgud 0

Monday 7 December 2009 9:53

/slow clap

misha1995 0

Monday 7 December 2009 12:36

Dude, you can't start a slow clap at any time and expect everyone to join in.

chalkrocks 0

Monday 7 December 2009 16:10

You deserve it for using internet explorer.

bexox 0

Monday 7 December 2009 20:12

Nah... you just got your man-riod! Congrats!

Kingdutch 3

Monday 7 December 2009 20:23

This was supposed to be a reply to the happy sacks guy =| Anyway, that's painfull... and I see some interesting stories in the comments :')

ceebies 0

Monday 7 December 2009 20:33

sad.... very sad

ChaceGold 0

Monday 7 December 2009 21:45

I felt that when I read it, sucks 4 u

MissSmiley613 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 6:09

Hahaha! This totally just made my day! Thank you&YDI! :D

lalasha 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 18:04

dude that is rough

Sparkiee93 3

Tuesday 8 December 2009 20:24

I'm a girl and I shuttered then shook a little xD

QTPie123 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 5:05

ahahahaahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha...

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The Top

Today, I realized my brain has degraded so fucking much when I could only do one math question over the span of 24 hours. FML

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Today, two girls came up to me on the street and asked if they could take a photo with me for their high school scavenger hunt, because they needed a picture with a stranger. One of the girls shook her head and said to the other, "It needs to be an attractive stranger" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 789

You deserved it 1 778

Today, I was taking a selfie in a café because the lighting was perfect. As I leaned back for the perfect angle, my chair tipped over, and I fell to the ground in front of a bunch of people. The barista was so concerned, he came over with a first aid kit, while I just wanted to disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 735

Today, and since I decided to cut back on unhealthy foods, my last five dreams were literally just slideshows of junk food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 137

Today, I woke up to it raining. My area really needs it, so it's great. I didn't expect to wake up to a hole in the roof though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 998

You deserved it 2 434

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 136

You deserved it 3 960