Intimacy: Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to... - FML

By Ballhugger - 06/12/2009 20:42 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 601

You deserved it 11 176

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Same thing different taste

Mah bawsac

By Anonymous - 12/07/2014 20:19 - United States - Indianapolis

Spicy

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 039

You deserved it 8 055

Spiked

By Kmcc - 22/04/2019 12:00

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my wife, I got a sudden leg cramp. While sliding off the bed, I found a sewing needle. With my ball sack. I ended up with a one-inch gash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 734

You deserved it 278

Ouchie

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 04:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 921

You deserved it 8 228

Agony

By Ouch - 22/12/2021 22:59 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 173

You deserved it 217

Misunderstood

By Blah - 24/01/2010 22:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 357

You deserved it 9 221

By whoslade - 28/06/2012 17:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 932

You deserved it 4 592

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 603

You deserved it 4 659

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 987

You deserved it 2 665

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 659

You deserved it 901

By man-period? - 02/03/2016 06:48 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 457

You deserved it 1 635

Next

Top comments

hXcsoccerplaya 0

Monday 7 December 2009 2:40

those nightmares must suck balls! heh heh

perdix 29

Monday 7 December 2009 2:50

Whatever you do, don't go see "The Nutcracker!" You'll have another nightmare and completely crush your 'nads!

Comments

Melissaluvsyou 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 5:27

Dude. i am so sorry lol that sucks like soo freakin bad.

dochoc_fml 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 4:21

you're pretty sad. you should just put yourself out of your own misery

anonymous45610 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 1:03

oh my god

Slayer567 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 12:04

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

live_life22 0

Monday 29 March 2010 3:39

AHAHAHAHA@!!!!!!! ANOTHER CANADA!!!!! AHAHA!!!

nerf456 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 20:53

ball sucker!!!!!

superfly957 0

Thursday 6 May 2010 5:51

1st! oh ya! and ya ur life sucks

juliamack13 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:20

YDI for masturbating

steveo1992 0

Wednesday 16 June 2010 2:05

hahahaahahahahahha wow how do you pull that off? lol

zerosk8ter999 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 9:43

wow now that's funny. bet u won't fall asleep doing that again lol

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You deserved it 291

Today, daylight savings is on the way. Two years ago, I planned to propose right before the time change, all to have an extra hour of "the best day of my life". Now I have an extra hour to remember how distinctly single I still am and how awful she was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 992

You deserved it 983

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I agree, your life sucks 36 262

You deserved it 2 869

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I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 429

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 128

You deserved it 1 292