Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
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Top comments
Recon13x 9
Run.
am1717 22
Silent but deadly :)
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Comments (36)
Recon13x 9
Run.
cheeeksss 29
But what if OP accidentally farts while running?
PencilTips 19
We all make mistakes, after all... we are human. Don't sweat it OP, nobody is going to remember it and you probably won't see those people again. Just make sure to not eat too much mexican/indian food before planning to do some shopping next time.
am1717 22
Silent but deadly :)
fushengyuan 20
Lmao, how does that not make u r day~
CheekyRaccoon 27
Plot twist the girl was crying because she hadn't smelt something so intoxicating and made her weep tears of joy.
Zarcissa 34
When I fart when shopping, I swiftly move elsewhere before the smell hits.
mm12344 8
You have to move slowly or the smell will follow you.
Steve97 32
Go to the bathroom then >.>
Yeshua_fml 19
It builds character.
snarkytruth 37
That calls for those Japanese Charcoal Activated Butt Pads.
MitchRapp 20
Dude. That's bad. Idk if I should be impressed or worried ;)
AngusEcrivain 18
I will never, ever understand why such a big deal is made about a fart. We all do them whether we admit it or no so just let rip. Besides, there's nought funnier!
snarkytruth 37
Your right it should be considered no worse than a yawn or hiccup. (I think they can be really funny.) However "eliminating" the stress and embarrassment would make them mundane and all the humor would "evaporate". I'd rather they be funny and everyone have a collection of good fart stories. It's one of the few things that can keep even the mightiest ego humble.
Roxas_hearts 27
You can normalize it, but it doesn't eliminate the god awful smell.