Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
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Top comments
Recon13x 9
Run.
am1717 22
Silent but deadly :)
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Comments (36)
AwkwardBookworm 27
I'd have just blamed it on anyone standing nearby
Xion0014 20
Why do little kids cry at the smell of a fart?
xx000o 27
All the characteristics of a properly executed fart.
aliciousness116 16
Haha that's evil, I would have laughed it off.
davek 36
That's not a suck, that's ******* epic
PuppiesKisses 19
This made me lol.
joshklander 11
Sounds like a stinky situation! The little girl was probably wondering "Do you have to let it linger?" :-)
LyricaSilvan 29
Gotta love those bodily functions. Can't control them and have no choice but to live with them.
dirty_dan_ 15
Dude, that's like a major sign of being unhealthy.
KayleeFrye 39
No, it's not. Farting is, unfortunately, perfectly normal. It happens. Farting is in no way unhealthy or a sign of being unhealthy. It may be a bad sign if it happens constantly, is painful, or accompanied by other symptoms, but it doesn't sound like the OP is dealing with that kind of situation. I don't know where you get your information, but it is woefully inaccurate.
born_hustla 26
Damn... Tear Gas!