By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 21:34 - Netherlands - Tilburg

Spicy
Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

iShanny 13

Easy fix. Memorize it and recite it for her. Boom! Pregnant. Bonus points if you do it in another language!

376 12
JJJJJakkkkeee 6

Are you sure it wasn't a copy of 50 Shades of Grey with the cover of War and Peace on it?

282 6

Comments

lorraineald 7

Is your wife and English teacher or does classic literature just turn her on? And also was it the whole book or just a specific chapter?

0 0
kalbrek009 20

That's when you should have yelled "this is Sparta!...I mean WAR! Now give me a piece." JK...sorry op, couldn't help saying that...truly FYL...should have been you Fyw.

1 2
interesting33 36

That sucks.. but maybe she wanted to do a fantasy thing in her own head at that time?

0 1
noisebox 1

That's the worst, didn't she read the marriage contract the a wife's duty is to satisfy her husband's sexual needs. Ps did you immediately disrobe and get on top of the situation?

0 4
hazardmuffin 21

Yeah, it's not fun being denied sex, but really, so what? Sex and masturbation can be completely different experiences for women. Once in a while you just gotta have some alone time, you know?

4 0
KiddNYC1O 20

Maybe you weren't around when she was beginning to get hot.

1 0
jemiller226 13

Everyone missed the obvious: OP pestered the woman for an HOUR for sex. I'm sorry, but that's a great way to turn someone off. I'm as sexually minded as anyone but that would piss me off badly!

2 4
Epikouros 31

Yes, you are the only one who has understood "an hour after being turned down for sex" correctly. We are all idiots. Thank you for enlightening us, jemiller226. I'm going to cancel my internet subscription, quit my job and become a garbage collector.

4 0