By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 21:34 - Netherlands - Tilburg

Spicy
Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 504
You deserved it 4 676
When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

iShanny 13

Easy fix. Memorize it and recite it for her. Boom! Pregnant. Bonus points if you do it in another language!

376 12
JJJJJakkkkeee 6

Are you sure it wasn't a copy of 50 Shades of Grey with the cover of War and Peace on it?

282 6

Comments

xcheshirecat 11

well I sometimes I'm reading and I get a random need to do it. have nothing to do with the book and if shes masturbating instead of having sex with you maybe you're not using seduction anymore or even not attractive anymore

1 1
greatfirstdate 18

First part is true for me...plus, I've always had a crush on Pierre from that book.

2 1
Ray_of_midnight 22

At least she's not flicking the bean to a copy of Crime and Punishment.

5 2
roquette5710 8

I'm guessing you got turned down because of something you're lacking.

0 2
TheComputerGuy96 16

At least it wasn't 50 shades of gray.

2 1
lifeindafastlane 1

that is one boring book or movie

0 4
mycatsaysmeow 7

Sometimes when I do boring reading, I finger myself to stay awake and to keep reading. Maybe your wife does the same?

3 1
SApprentice 34

Sometimes people don't want sex, they just want some self-stimulation. It can seem irritating, but just because she wants an ****** doesn't mean that it has to be by your hands or nothing else. You can't really pass any judgement based entirely on this one situation where she wanted to **********. Obviously you could have a talk with her to express your concerns, but it's not like she's required to offer herself to you every time she gets a little aroused.

7 3
rogerover 19

Okay. Maybe not every time, but not giving him the opportunity to please her....something's wrong there.

1 0
dj8798 9

dont suck at sex so much.

0 2
nancyschmancy 9

I'm thinking she wanted a sure thing. I think you really need to rethink your sex life. Are you getting her off before you do, and then pass out? My guess is no. Learning to please your partner would be one of the best things you can do for your marriage. Stop whining on FML and start reading some books on how to be a better lover. YDI.

2 3
Good_old_Grim 8

If that's the case, I bet that wife is one of the women who refuse to talk about sex and expect the man to automagically know how to please her.

2 0