Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was helping a friend with a DIY project and thought it would be fun to add some glitter to the mix. We ended up using WAY too much, and now I have glitter everywhere. Not only am I covered head to toe, but I keep finding it in the weirdest places, like inside my shoes, on my phone, and even in my coffee cup. FML
Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML
Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML
Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
Today, I woke up to the rickety old ceiling fan above my bed crashing down on top of me. I'm fine, however I am now grounded until I can buy a new ceiling fan to replace the one I "broke". FML
Today, I attempted a DIY home improvement project: installing a ceiling fan. After hours of sweat and frustration, I managed to hang it up, only to realize I'd installed it upside down. Now, instead of cooling, the fan blades are dangerously close to becoming an unconventional chandelier-slash-helicopter. At least I can say my home decor is truly "uplifting." FML
Today, I painted an area I had carefully sanded, cleaned, and taped off. I pulled a fan out of the closet to help dry it faster. I turned the fan on, and a million dust particles flew off onto the wet paint. FML
Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML
Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 38
Edward? Is that you?
WearingHats 14
Sounds magical to me.
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Comments (157)
WearingHats 14
Sounds magical to me.
CheeseTron 15
Yes, now OP looks like a fairy. He should be happy.
v1kt4r 13
Sounds like Twilight to me
StalkerChick 13
Not magical at all lol. Glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts. OP is always gonna have traces of glitter in his room.
AbstraktThoughts 13
At least it wasn't chili powder!
rossdavids 16
Anyone ever try to Hoover glitter? Just does not work if its carpet
BlakesHonestLie 8
That just sounds amazing. Now I know how to annoy all of my friends and co-workers.
DKjazz 20
Ever gotten glitter in your eye? Sounds terrible.
graphicstyle7 17
LOL, "herpes of arts and crafts" gonna remember that one.
DocBastard 38
Edward? Is that you?
free2speak 14
I was about to say, "No, this is Kesha" but then I realized that OP is a male. Still could be Kesha. I can't say I know for sure if Kesha belongs in the female category.
WearingHats 14
23, your comment is a mess.
HowAreYouToday 34
No. Kesha's a mess. *giggle*
MelTheGreat 23
No, this is Patrick.
Imhere4fml 24
THIS IS SPARTA!
journeytotheend 16
43-that's what I was gonna say
sens3sfailing 24
NOOOO! THIS! IS! PATRICK!
PenguinBitch 43
I was thinking Rihanna. You know when OP turns the fan on and glitter falls he can sing "Shine bright like a diamond".
fadingaway 17
This is sempiternal.
journeytotheend 16
**** all for down votes. My name is actually Patrick
peanutfoo 19
86-Or glitter in the air by pink..
Pyapi 20
Maybe I'm just a tad bit morbid, Doc, but I just imagined that Edward was cut up by the fan and the pieces of his body were magically glowing like glitter.
yresim 12
That's not morbid, 119. It's a great idea for the next book in the series (or maybe a fanfic).
TheOnlyKittyKat 15
Damn 91, over reaction much?
stewpididiot 11
This is a recording !!!
thandidavis 17
It's Jake...from State Farm.
Pleonasm 35
Not a fan of sparkling, eh? You wouldn't make a good Edward Cullen. EDIT: Too fast for me, Doc.
ICastillo 24
Hey but girls are a big fan of sparkles. I see OP getting lucky in his sparkly future.
Charmillionaire 13
35 - yeah, with a unicorn.
ICastillo 24
Good thinking #44, unicorns are instant panty droppers.
sens3sfailing 24
And sherbet shitters...mmmmmm, sherbet...
omfg_creepers 8
MAKE IT RAIN!
itsalanis 25
Now your room looks pretty!
U_GotitDude 18
Like you're in a snow globe
RoboCunnilingus 23
Well, I think it's funny. Sounds like this prank went over your head.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
What a way to start your day! All that glitter would make me feel like a princess :3
MistaBlista 9
Hopefully no one thinks you're a twilight character.
Rob2342 9
You should check your ceiling fan more often.
Misswildsides 22
Who checks their ceiling fan?
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
yeah like I'm gona go and be like *sniff sniff*....I smell a fan prank
kglambert24 8
did we forget about sarcasm, my friends?
Misswildsides 22
It could be just me, but that my friend did not sound like sarcasm.
kglambert24 8
didnt know you could hear words on paper. for all you know, it very well could have been sarcasm.
Fanain 2
I wasn't aware the Internet was paper.
flea_of_death 23
Maybe 94 prints off fmls to read else where? And maybe that comment was sent in via snail mail? Yeah I got nothing.
Spring13 12
You dont have have to hear it to know its sarcasms or not. Its very clear that the comment above was not sarcasm just by how its written.
charvisioku 22
Yeah I think it's stupidity rather than sarcasm. It would be a damn weird thing to say sarcastically.
SuperDanielNL 23
Good prank though, now you have an excuse to prank back. Savour that opportunity.