Alcohol, Drunk, Party and Health: Party animal - FML

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 956

You deserved it 23 231

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Same thing different taste

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 761

You deserved it 5 414

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 791

You deserved it 6 766

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 934

You deserved it 10 332

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 787

You deserved it 11 484

HELP!

By SeatofIgnorance - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 5 464

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 301

You deserved it 309

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 842

You deserved it 2 842

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 281

You deserved it 12 032

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 104

By catt - 17/10/2014 20:12 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 558

You deserved it 4 060

Next

Top comments

PsychoMerk 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 23:53

what.the.****?

InsidiousChild 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 0:32

no, no u's havn't.

Comments

NYBellz 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 3:45

go kiss him with tongue

marmlr339 14

Sunday 1 May 2011 4:05

us* stupid autocorrect

nirvanalink 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 4:11

YDI idiot next time STOP DRINKING

hammerfall26 6

Sunday 1 May 2011 4:14

he's my hero!

linzbinzzz 7

Sunday 1 May 2011 4:14

Why is this an FML..

sleepereffect 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 4:23

just means your future husband is a douche bag

angielopezx3 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 4:30

lmfaoo! that sucks so much asssssss

paramedicgirl87 4

Sunday 1 May 2011 4:59

Your fiance is my hero.

Petunia888 13

Tuesday 3 May 2011 20:32

My thought exactly!

bignasty29 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 5:18

Screw that. You need To add ex to his title

JenL_fml 7

Sunday 1 May 2011 5:42

I think I like him. Heh. That'll teach ya.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, while having sex with the guy I have seen for about 3 years, he answered the phone. I found out that he had a girlfriend while he was inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 457

You deserved it 7 092

Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 883

You deserved it 43 236

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 382

You deserved it 7 314

Today, I had to drink the most vile and disgusting medicinal treatments I could ever imagine. Then I had to drink it again when I threw up the first batch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 626

You deserved it 4 661

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 018

You deserved it 4 399

Today, an older lady approached me at work and stroked my hair, telling me it was 'beautiful'. This isn't unusual, I'm a natural redhead and octogenarians especially seem to love the colour. However, the unusual part was the glob of snot she left in my hair from her unwashed hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 273

You deserved it 1 745