Alcohol, Drunk, Party and Health: Party animal

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 956

You deserved it 23 231

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Same thing different taste

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 761

You deserved it 5 414

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 791

You deserved it 6 766

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 934

You deserved it 10 332

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 787

You deserved it 11 484

HELP!

By SeatofIgnorance - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 5 464

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 301

You deserved it 309

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 842

You deserved it 2 842

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 281

You deserved it 12 032

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 104

By catt - 17/10/2014 20:12 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 558

You deserved it 4 060

PsychoMerk 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 23:53

what.the.****?

InsidiousChild 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 0:32

no, no u's havn't.

Comments

NANDwich 5

Sunday 1 May 2011 1:15

Puke on him.

JustLetItHappen 2

Sunday 1 May 2011 1:16

Maybe she was doing it without him. Hence him saying that'll teach ya.

vistamar 3

Sunday 1 May 2011 1:19

Wtf?!

xosmiilexo 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 1:25

That will teach you. But, he should have been a little more considerate.

immegan 6

Sunday 1 May 2011 1:27

when he goes to bed, throw a bag of flower on him and say "that will teach you to sleep in my bed!" then maybe he'll realize you can be just as childish as he is

tama332 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 1:32

end.it.

DynamicDave 11

Sunday 1 May 2011 8:32

You have...creepiness.

el_chinito 6

Sunday 1 May 2011 1:32

you have pretty eyes!

jjaymemusic 2

Sunday 1 May 2011 1:38

Some of these comments are so stupid. "Dump his ass!". Why would anyone throw away a relationship at that level (engaged) for a simple joke? Also punching him in the balls or kicking him in the "dangling" would be extremely counter-productive, considering most engaged/married couples want to have kids eventually. If she's drunk, there's no control. What if she ruptures his ********... over being pushed into the ******* toilet. God damn. Idiots.

watch1988 3

Sunday 1 May 2011 2:37

Maybe not from one joke, but it's certainly indicative of his personality. If someone disrespected me like that, I would dump them. I would most certainly have a talk with the person even if it was a joke, because that doesn't indicate a mature man who should be getting married any time soon.

Pufferfish78 5

Sunday 1 May 2011 6:34

But getting drunk to the point of puking is a sign of maturity?

Elenachka 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 11:14

It's not a sign of immaturity, either. It's something legal, common, and indicative of nothing. Also, to everyone saying she was drinking excessively, some people will throw up after 3 drinks while some won't even feel 3. More people drink and are completely functional adults than not. I'm thinking high school SADD/health class is getting ridiculous. Lol I remember you guys. "THATS SO GROSS!" Forward to, 22 most of you will be bonging beer on a Wed night, having a blast, and laughing at your naivety. Yours, a pro-choice non-drinker:)