Health, Accident and Clumsy: No pain, no sleep - FML

No pain, no sleep

By Anonymous - 29/09/2025 09:00

Today, after going to the bathroom I went to bed. I have a very sturdy bookshelf that sticks halfway to the right of the door as I enter my bedroom. I had dumbly turned off the lights as I didn't want to bother with them before bed. I ended up kneeing the bookshelf, hard, now I'm wide awake and in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 263

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Same thing different taste

SO FRUSTRATING

By no one - 19/06/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 320

You deserved it 10 952

By LacrosseFAIL - 16/07/2016 22:33 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, after a long day at work, I walked into my room with the lights off and jumped on my bed. At least I would've if I haven't rearranged my room and instead face-planted onto my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 108

You deserved it 4 817

Night terrors

By Si123 - 15/08/2020 08:01

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 254

By ayye_its_nikki - 19/12/2012 05:07 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 551

You deserved it 21 375

By Girl-of-very-little-brain - 29/12/2011 12:01 - Canada

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 247

You deserved it 4 986

By Anonymous - 14/04/2017 02:00

Today, as I was trying to get out of bed, my foot began sliding across the floor. I instinctively tried to balance myself, only for the new angle to cause my right hip to painfully and loudly dislocate, making me fall face-forward into my dresser. Back stuck in bed after three days of freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 158

You deserved it 398

Check before you wreck

By Kailey - 28/10/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I was moving into my new house. While trying to turn on the light in the bedroom, I realized I couldn't reach the string on the fan. I got a chair, climbed up, reached over, and fell badly. While writhing in agony on the floor, I looked over to see a light switch on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 320

You deserved it 33 991

By IngenuityAbsent - 22/02/2015 13:54 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 251

You deserved it 4 761

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 907

You deserved it 11 479

By IVOaf - 26/02/2014 20:55 - United States

Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 579

You deserved it 4 871

Next

Top comments

core01 30

Tuesday 30 September 2025 4:14

I don't put solid obstacles in the way of my bed

BurnInDemonFire 35

Tuesday 30 September 2025 1:55

I keep a torch/flashlight by my bed because I'm this clumsy too.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 35

Tuesday 30 September 2025 1:55

I keep a torch/flashlight by my bed because I'm this clumsy too.

core01 30

Tuesday 30 September 2025 4:14

I don't put solid obstacles in the way of my bed

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Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 664

You deserved it 6 744

Today, like every year, my next-door neighbors started setting off their fireworks at exactly midnight. Also, like every year, the sensitive car alarm belonging to another neighbor has gone off with every firework. It's been almost six hours of nonstop alarms and explosions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 756

You deserved it 1 154

Today, I was diagnosed with gout. I’m 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 157

Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" as the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 139

You deserved it 5 135

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 319

You deserved it 3 949

Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bathroom, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 786

You deserved it 349