Miscellaneous: It's a mystery

It's a mystery

By ilivealoneandwhatthefuck - 23/06/2013 17:02 - Guam - Yigo

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 312

You deserved it 4 342

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Same thing different taste

By Wilhelm - 26/04/2016 14:47 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I heard water dripping at the back of our house. I went to investigate, only to find a man peeing on our garden gnome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 965

You deserved it 1 501

By dickhead - 10/04/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 187

You deserved it 3 397

Great housekeeping trap tip

By Gnome alone - 04/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my wife tried to prove that I don’t pay attention to anything related to the house by putting a decorative gnome on the table. When I mentioned it, she pointed out that she’d put over 25 gnomes all over the house for the past couple of weeks. I just noticed them today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 596

Shards

By Anonymous - 17/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, I was mowing my lawn when I lost control along our lawn borders and ran over one of my neighbor’s many garden gnomes. It exploded into a pile of ceramic. I soon discovered it was a limited edition collector's item when the neighbor came out just in time to see me turning her prized lawn decoration into shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 460

By rattrap - 06/02/2012 01:13 - United States

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time that my cats hadn't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 073

You deserved it 2 607

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 240

You deserved it 7 108

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 13:00

Today, after house sitting for my neighbor, I realized that he has a camera pointed at my pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 221

You deserved it 286

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 978

You deserved it 3 206

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 241

You deserved it 5 863

Isn't that illegal?

By Ryan Engle - 29/07/2021 02:01

Today, my neighbor, who has 4 video cameras pointed at the front of my house, got a drone that’s now hovering over my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 78

Pleonasm 35

Sunday 23 June 2013 23:35

It has begun. Hide yo wife, hide yo kids; no-body is safe.

cupcakechick 17

Sunday 23 June 2013 23:34

call the cops

Comments

slimkelsey 17

Monday 24 June 2013 5:06

Well at least your ghost has a sense of humor! Gnome-thing scary about that!

Colorguardlife_t 14

Monday 24 June 2013 5:12

Time to move!

EvieM97 8

Monday 24 June 2013 5:19

When did people start calling other people asshats?

DorkAlert 10

Monday 24 June 2013 5:23

Umm do you live with someone? If so, its probably them

BrookRae 19

Tuesday 25 June 2013 1:56

You must not have read their username.

RyoKioKio 21

Monday 24 June 2013 5:30

It has begun... The Sims 3 is starting to bleed into reality.

Xotoolyxo 16

Monday 24 June 2013 5:34

I find it hilarious that you're freaking out. Let it go on, and eventually that person will get bored with you not reacting and go away.

wvcheesehead1 9

Monday 24 June 2013 5:41

Call the Winchesters.

eightpack007 7

Monday 24 June 2013 5:43

Change your locks smart guy. Duh

dyehardxen 19

Monday 24 June 2013 5:51

Slenderman is putting gnomes in your house. If you start coughing, or feeling faint. Run.

ohhhsnapple 14

Monday 24 June 2013 5:53

Why hasn't anyone suggested that OP might be sleepwalking?? But really, that would creep me out too.

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The Top

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year-old son. He wriggled away and said, "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or get another Simon!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 174

You deserved it 3 793

Today, I'm filling in as a secretary. My only job is to answer the phone. So far the phone has rung three times: when I was in the bathroom, when I went to get the mail and when I was shredding papers where there is no phone. Everyone here thinks I am slacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 508

You deserved it 1 515

Today, I had a surprise visitor at my place. A guy I was talking to a few months back. He said he was down my way getting gas and thought he’d stop by. He lives more than 45 minutes from my place, in the opposite direction, with about 20 gas stations between us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 216

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 704

You deserved it 3 976

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 199

You deserved it 2 590

Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 470

You deserved it 1 566