Intimacy: Bragging

Bragging

By lastalittlelonger - 05/12/2009 09:07 - United States

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 752

You deserved it 3 183

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Same thing different taste

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 408

You deserved it 359

By hmacy - 01/10/2017 01:30

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 636

You deserved it 548

By anonymous - 11/02/2012 05:57 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 007

You deserved it 5 647

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:09 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 396

You deserved it 3 466

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 420

You deserved it 3 140

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 152 013

You deserved it 40 668

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 415

You deserved it 17 929

Knackered

By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 106

You deserved it 2 901

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 416

You deserved it 8 838

Don't care

By grreeatttt - 31/01/2009 01:57 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him about two minutes after, and he'd already fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 385

You deserved it 35 210

cristiannnnnnnnn 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 0:05

he's like tea, hot n steamy done in two minutes

LemonStarship 5

Saturday 5 December 2009 17:32

He must of been doing the Swedish helicopter for those 2 minutes.

Comments

xoprettyinpunkox 0

Monday 4 January 2010 5:02

...

xoprettyinpunkox 0

Monday 4 January 2010 5:02

wow, you must be pretty damn good in bed, lmao =P

Macadamia_fml 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 5:09

Seemed that the business hours were over...

JASM69 0

Friday 22 January 2010 6:55

then you clearly suck at sex

iLenny 0

Sunday 7 February 2010 1:53

oh shit!!

mematteden 2

Wednesday 17 February 2010 0:20

i luv fat people lol

jdime209 2

Sunday 10 October 2010 14:53

at least he give 2 minutes.. some don't even make it to 1 minute ..

StormGirl142 24

Friday 4 March 2011 1:14

Tell me about it -.- My boyfriend does the same thing, but it's usually only 30-45 seconds. *Sigh*

gkings18 1

Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:01

hahaha

money127 4

Sunday 11 December 2011 13:54

Better than no sex at all

bebekinza 5

Saturday 21 September 2013 1:29

Lmao

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The Top

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 542

You deserved it 32 589

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 205

You deserved it 5 074

Today, I received a "Happy Birthday" text from my ex. I thought maybe she missed me, but when I replied with a polite, "Thank you," they responded with "Sorry, wrong person. However, fuck you." Ouch. Happy birthday to me, indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 188

Today, I received a letter from a “judge” declaring me mentally unfit and ordering me to transfer my house and money into my son’s name. It had 8 spelling mistakes. My son really will do anything to avoid getting a job. I’m kicking him out when he turns 30 in 2 weeks. Enough is enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 173

Today, I tried instant online video dating for the first time, after not having much luck on other dating sites. The first date was kind of awkward, and "ended" with a kind of fade out and I could hear her chatting with someone else. "Hella awkward." Fair enough. "But was he cute? - No." FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 145

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 987

You deserved it 26 224