Transportation, Grandparents and Miscellaneous: Badass grandma - FML

Badass grandma

By yelyah - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Tolono

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 985

You deserved it 2 267

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Same thing different taste

Bodyscan

By Anonymous - 25/05/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom - Normanton

Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 111

Always prepared

By emasculated 10000% - 04/05/2013 17:05 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 835

You deserved it 7 825

Jamaica? I hardly know her

By Anonymous - 07/10/2015 10:58 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 359

You deserved it 2 473

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 578

You deserved it 49 792

Enjoy yourself, I guess

By Anonymous - 15/02/2017 01:00 - Spain - Las Palmas

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 645

You deserved it 1 307

By Ya - 10/05/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 288

You deserved it 11 631

By Need Clothes Now - 21/09/2014 15:51 - United States - Pendleton

Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 713

You deserved it 3 362

By Brooklyn - 05/11/2012 22:11 - United States - Newport

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 658

You deserved it 3 289

By tampondealer - 09/11/2009 18:42 - Canada

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 149

You deserved it 2 799

Thanks, son

By sucksforme. - 10/05/2009 05:05 - Canada

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 377

You deserved it 6 382

Next

Top comments

Doortje 29

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:32

Grams is protective of her grandchild :)

idontknowyou123 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:37

Bingo gets crazy somtimes... you never know if the bitch next to you will shout bingo or shank you...

Comments

CoolBreezeKing 8

Friday 30 March 2012 0:07

Your granny is a gangster, that's why she had it

TheBonzaiGirl 0

Friday 30 March 2012 0:09

I've done it too, 20 times at least!

Meowingtons500 18

Friday 30 March 2012 0:10

My grandma keeps a rifle in her kitchen. To defend herself. It's always loaded.

Meowingtons500 18

Friday 30 March 2012 0:12

38- If someone hijacks a plane using a toothpick as their only weapon, I'm pretty sure they deserve the plane.

GimmeFive 10

Friday 30 March 2012 0:13

Grammy's bangin!

iv651 9

Friday 30 March 2012 0:23

She sound pretty awesome

swimmersrok 0

Friday 30 March 2012 0:32

"Come on! Seriously Grammy?" "You never know who your gonna meet. I will protect you Jimmy!" " Grammy! You are like 90 years old and in a wheelchair! Get real!" "Minor details, Minor details"

Minnesota_Chelse 0

Friday 30 March 2012 0:33

Hahaha why does your grandma have a pocket knife?! We can barely trust my grandma to use scissors by herself!

miz_kamakazi 11

Friday 30 March 2012 0:34

Grandma will shank someone!!!

MexicanObama 15

Friday 30 March 2012 0:36

Nigga granny gonna stab some hoes up

swimmersrok 0

Friday 30 March 2012 19:27

Wow. You took a funny FML and just ruined it for me. Great job. (in case you can't tell, im being sarcastic and ur bs comment is nothing to be proud of.)

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Today, my son is a real ass. My mother died and he literally only booked off half a day to attend his own grandmother's funeral, doesn’t plan to spend time with me after the burial, and since he booked it, all he has done is complain about the three meetings he’s going to miss that morning. FML

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You deserved it 270

Today, I went to my required district science fair with my project about gliders and was a bit unprepared in terms of personal knowledge on the science behind gliders. I was hoping I would get a judge who didn't know a lot about aerodynamics. One of my judges was a glider pilot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 700

You deserved it 22 962

Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 567

You deserved it 1 617

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 115

You deserved it 44 547

Today, I work in HR and last week we'd hired an apprentice for our repair shop. He was great. I spent $500 company dollars on his uniform. Later, he called me saying he had been offered a job paying $10 more an hour than what we were offering, as much as our experienced workers make. I either have to match it, or be out a helper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 1 110

Today, after falling down an incredibly expansive DNA test rabbit hole, I found out that my first girlfriend was actually related to me. I can’t believe I’ve lived what I always thought was a disgusting and unrealistic porn trope: teen lesbian incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 293