Awkward, Smells and Intimacy: Awkward

Awkward

By Nikki - 18/03/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 199

You deserved it 91 608

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Same thing different taste

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 373

You deserved it 9 845

By holyshitbatman - 22/09/2012 14:06 - United States - Chicago

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 554

You deserved it 29 783

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 100

You deserved it 64 068

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 088

You deserved it 40 715

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 808

You deserved it 4 732

By Sleep Walking - 23/01/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 924

You deserved it 9 243

By Matt - 13/07/2012 19:06 - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 349

You deserved it 57 843

Wasted moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 1 396

Date grape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 144

You deserved it 253

It's sus

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 09:01 - New Zealand

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 176

You deserved it 10 371

prvag23 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:21

That's almost sweet that his mom made breakfast...in a really, really weird and completely awkward way.

drunkgirlscout2 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:25

Hey, you did get FREE PANCAKES. Unless the pancakes were green and filled with laxatives, I would be happy

Comments

xhopefulsecretx 0

Monday 20 April 2009 19:14

This might have been my house. My brother brought home a girl and my mom often makes pancakes...

IhaveNOname16 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 8:11

I wish I would get pancakes.

lonewolfpr08 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 0:07

pancakes are sexy

dizzle_doneski 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 5:22

legit!! a one night stand and pancakes.. i envy you!

dwu_fml 0

Monday 4 May 2009 9:25

That's so nice of her. Mum++

lazorzpewpew 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 22:41

Mum ftw! :D Nothing like pancakes and milk in the morning, 'specially after sex

omgitsseejay 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 5:32

at least you got pancakes and sex [a great combination] :]

Dunne147 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 23:56

**** ya have some sex and eat some pancakes, where's the FYL in that!

Masta_Blasta 0

Monday 11 May 2009 16:14

mh, pancakes. i dont see a problem with that.

exile529 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 19:28

agree with # 23

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I mistook a tree in my back yard as an intruder and called the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 412

You deserved it 10 229

Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 687

You deserved it 3 774

Today, I found some pictures of the boy I have a crush on online. Not only is he a crossdresser, but he's also a better looking woman than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 524

You deserved it 6 205

Today, I learned that shaving my unibrow while drunk/high was a terrible idea. I also learned that one brow looks better than no brow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 984

You deserved it 56 300

Today, the guy I picked up made me bacon and a bagel for breakfast. I was so turned on by this gesture that we did it again in my kitchenette… Only this time, I was farting uncontrollably because I have celiac disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 548

You deserved it 511

Today, I realized my love life is a mess. I’ve been married for nine years, having an affair with a good friend for over a year, and I'm still in love with the boy who broke my heart years ago, and contacts me only when he is lonely. All three make me happy, but two of them are unable to commit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 1 513