Work, Sex Intimacy All sexed up

All sexed up

Anonymous - 24/10/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

He enjoyed himself way too much

Galo - 30/01/2022 19:58

Today, I had to clean cum from one of the seats of the movie theater where I work at as a cleaner. FML

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Not what you think

Anonymous - 28/05/2023 06:00

Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML

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Anonymous - 21/06/2013 04:44 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

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Dribble drizzle

Anonymous - 02/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML

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Great look

Anonymous - 12/11/2021 17:00

Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML

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Disgusting

SnotScrubber - 05/04/2024 07:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML

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g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

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Bad hair day

ewwgross - 20/05/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

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notmine - 20/04/2014 02:39 - India - New Delhi

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

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RetailJocky - 15/08/2017 13:00

Today, at work, a bag of driveway repair tar split and spilled on my arms and hands. Not only does it stain and pull out any arm hair it touches, the stains also look like I was playing in dog poop. FML

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smokeymcpottt 3

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:14

He tried to get your hair pregnant.

UnicornsDoExist 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:57

There's this thing called a shower. It's new and everything, but t does work.

CaydenCookies 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:40

damm someone had a crazy night. it's ok. many people do.

Quest_ 13

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:44

HAHAHA awesome.

nicolas1311 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:45

it's just hair gel :p

maphineRAWRS 10

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:48

eww

nightmares97 0

Monday 25 October 2010 2:59

heyy I thought you sounded pretty cool

ifailplzinsultme 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:50

I see you have the "town pedophile" @ your work place

MAGNAVOX 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:52

Hahaha you got nut on your hair:P

MyFirstKiss 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 23:52

nut juice!

Juneyah1017 9

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:53

lmao eat it!

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Sunday 24 October 2010 17:32

*gags* Anybody else read that Stephen King short story about the hotel maid...?

xX_rawr_KiTTiEXx 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:56

the first sentence already made me feel bad for you.

thisisLAUREN 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:57

maybe you should shower next time.

mcxhunni 0

Monday 25 October 2010 0:20

nice photoshopping :P

cesciscecsy 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 17:07

ugh this is just disgusting. the 1st part of ur sentence is an FML all by itself !

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boss decided that, because I got dragged into a vacation that I didn't even want to go on, she was going to take a promotion back before she even gave it to me. I don't know what's worse, losing the promotion or going on that crappy vacation. FML

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Today, after a 9 hour train journey through the Polish mountains, I mistook a small black and white cat for a penguin. FML

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Today, at a family dinner, I mentioned I was worried about money and my job. My rich grandmother decided to announce that she'd pray for me. Thanks, Gran, I'm sure talking to Magic Sky Wizard will be more helpful than just forking over some cash. FML

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Today, I fainted in the bathtub. My family broke the door to save me, which is great, but they all saw me naked, which is not so great. My siblings laughed at the size of my penis, my father laughed at the situation, and my mom just cried. FML

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Today, when I checked on my last payroll, I realized that I pay more in taxes than I do in house bills. FML

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Today, my boyfriend managed to convince me that Australia was called a penal colony because all the prisoners were men. FML

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