Work, Sex Intimacy All sexed up

All sexed up

Anonymous - 24/10/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

He enjoyed himself way too much

Galo - 30/01/2022 19:58

Today, I had to clean cum from one of the seats of the movie theater where I work at as a cleaner. FML

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Not what you think

Anonymous - 28/05/2023 06:00

Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML

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Anonymous - 21/06/2013 04:44 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

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Dribble drizzle

Anonymous - 02/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML

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Great look

Anonymous - 12/11/2021 17:00

Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML

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Disgusting

SnotScrubber - 05/04/2024 07:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML

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g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

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Bad hair day

ewwgross - 20/05/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

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notmine - 20/04/2014 02:39 - India - New Delhi

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

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RetailJocky - 15/08/2017 13:00

Today, at work, a bag of driveway repair tar split and spilled on my arms and hands. Not only does it stain and pull out any arm hair it touches, the stains also look like I was playing in dog poop. FML

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smokeymcpottt 3

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:14

He tried to get your hair pregnant.

UnicornsDoExist 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:57

There's this thing called a shower. It's new and everything, but t does work.

Paula231_fml 0

Monday 25 October 2010 1:37

Cum juice!

holt06 0

Monday 25 October 2010 1:57

So...what's your phone number?

mrm3895 0

Monday 25 October 2010 2:17

haha someone got fantom scooby

boopityboppity 11

Monday 25 October 2010 5:15

Sure...?

sicpupyz122 0

Monday 25 October 2010 2:23

Um..only if you showered reguarly and brushed your hair would you have avoided this situation.

klynhunter 0

Monday 25 October 2010 3:07

yeah, cause she totally said it happens everyday.

gigilvrs6 0

Monday 25 October 2010 2:28

Agree with 20

xcarxcrashx 9

Monday 25 October 2010 2:45

YDI, obviously.

KikiThePug 0

Monday 25 October 2010 3:05

He's climbin' in yo' office dorms, and cummin' in yo' hair. ;D

Hockey_Fan12 0

Monday 25 October 2010 19:49

Hide yo' wife

bean_dip21 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 4:44

I was attacked by some idiot in the projects.

tcj2010 5

Monday 25 October 2010 3:25

gross

Erevis_cale 0

Monday 25 October 2010 4:24

wow next time ensure he aims or u swallow

malibubarbie2122 0

Monday 25 October 2010 4:48

what kind of job do you have...

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I finally got a Wii Fit to try and lose some weight. I came home and set it all up, only to be told that I weigh too much to actually use it. FML

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Today, I’m nine months pregnant and divorcing my husband. He’s been cheating for the past six months and blamed it on me for “lack of intimacy.” I’ve been hospitalized three times for this pregnancy thus far, so I'm sorry I’ve been sick growing a whole ass human! FML

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Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML

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Today, I couldn't bring up a close friend from college in a conversation without my mom bashing her for over ten minutes. She does this with practically all my close female friends. I suspect she subconsciously doesn't want any girl to steal her son away. FML

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Today, the coworker I like reported me to HR for "sexual harassment." All I did was make him lunch every day, give him 'just because' gifts, and compliment him in a non-sexual way. It sure isn't "sexual harassment" when another coworker of ours does the exact same things; in fact, he praises it and acts indifferent to me. FML

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Today, I noticed that my ceiling was sagging slightly. I got up on to a chair to look at it more closely, and I touched it. Turns out that my ceiling was full of water. It went everywhere, ruining my new iPod, phone, and all the things my daughter bought for university. FML

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