Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 18:26

Today, my boyfriend thinks it’s funny to run up behind me. It scares the crap out of me and makes me feel super uncomfortable even though I know he is gonna do it and that he won’t hurt me. He thinks it’s funny. Now I’m paranoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 18

By eurynome_liri - 12/05/2019 23:08 - United States - Des Moines

Today is mothers day. I stayed up until 6 am making a beautiful gift only for her to tell me she made plans with a co-worker she hates and has left town because she forgot we had a day planned. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 04:05

Today, my dad decided to contact me after being out of my life for 17 yrs. I also have a half sister. What kind of Jerry Springer family reunion is this? Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 11/05/2019 22:21

Today, I received an invite to a wedding via mail. Thanks dad, you could have at least told me in person that you are getting remarried. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 5

By Tamara Lawrence - 11/05/2019 19:53

Today I walked into the female toilet to see a dude peeing with the door open. I’m thinking I’m in the wrong toilet and hurry out. On second glance I notice it was the female toilet. I wait outside, when he came out he seemed to be unaware of his actions despite security telling him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 7

By SyntheticDC - 11/05/2019 06:14

Today, I have duty. No later than twenty minutes after taking over the shift, there have been no less than three drunken brawls, two UAs, and a couple having sex in the bathroom. Guess who gets to do all of that paperwork.

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 5

By QueenCortana Tiffany Turner - 09/05/2019 21:02

Today my car decided to stop working and now it’s a decision between getting it working or paying rent fml

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 20:17

Today I broke my big toe by stubbing it on the coffee table, then this afternoon I somehow broke my other big toe by stubbing it on the very same coffee table FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 35

By undercovergoober - 09/05/2019 05:57

Today, my dad is making plans to move out after fighting with my mom last night. This time, divorce seems imminent. The emotional tension has reached my 11-year-old brother. He’s hurt and confused but they won’t even attempt to gently talk to him. I don’t know how to protect him from this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 8

By ojosRojos - 09/05/2019 03:51

Today, my coworker said, “I was going to wish you a happy Mother’s Day but you’re not a mom.” I’ve been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 9

By "Adriene Bruce" - 08/05/2019 21:44

Today i got paid and thought i would have a bill free payday. but my husband gambled away our rent money so there goes my hold check. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 9

By "Nikki Byron" - 08/05/2019 20:31

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's ex, not only works with him, but has been secretly staying in the upstairs guest bedroom. I also found some photos of her on his tablet. We have been dating for almost 10months and it's my birthday today.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 9

By "Termera" - 07/05/2019 23:10

Today after I got my wisdom teeth removed I confessed to my dad that I hate his wife...FML?

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 14

Get him a latte from Starbucks or something

By Anonymous - 07/05/2019 15:00 - United Kingdom - Oldbury

Today, my brother held me down and told me, based on the books, all of the characters who are most likely to die in the last season of Game of Thrones. All I did was pick up his phone to check the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 36

By Bubbilility - 07/05/2019 18:24 - Australia - Merrylands

Today, a woman showed up at my house asking to use my phone. I decided let her in while I went to get my phone from the charger. It wasn't until several hours later that I noticed my wallet, and a significant sum of my money, missing. She has all my ID, my bank card, my expensive wallet/key chains, and my house keys. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 207

By SavedSnapGirl - 07/05/2019 06:15

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a side instagram account in which he posts many inappropriate pictures. Not just that, those are the same pictures he snapchats to me. He must’ve saved them. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 7

By The Non-Virgin - 07/05/2019 06:11

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to lose our virginity to each other. He couldn’t stay hard and I couldn’t stay wet. We stopped trying after 5 minutes. He didn’t even cum. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 22

By what the actual fuck?! - 05/05/2019 20:58

Today I visit the home of my ex and his new gf. My kids will have overnight visits I wanted to see it for myself. There were beer cans cigarette butts and fast food wrappers covering the floors. The walls were brown the furniture was broken and the whole place reeked of urine. Hello court date. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 6

By "Weikascha" - 04/05/2019 21:32

Today I've been diagnosed with a rib crack. This happened to me while my vacation when I fell off the bike, riding in mountains. Also, I've caught cold, can't breathe. And everytime I cough or sneeze, my rib tends to kill me, it's painful af. It's my BD in a couple of days, fml

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 5

By Jonathan Mccarthy - 03/05/2019 17:46

Today my 1 year old pulled my laptop down off the desk shattering the hard drive. No big deal I have it backed up. Plug in the back up in to find that the back up drive is corrupted. I mean it only has five years of family pictures with a 1000$ recovery price tag if I can afford it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 02/05/2019 21:21

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 25

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 16:37

Today, I tested an old cartoon conspiracy theory where you run and slip on a banana peel. I didn't believe it until I tried it and ended up slipping, falling and breaking my wrist when I hit the ground. Now I have a cast that's going to be on for 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 178

By "YoshiSqu4d " - 30/04/2019 05:06

Today, my PC got a blue screen, When I restarted, my hard drive was toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 24/04/2019 14:10 - Australia - Sydney

Today I went into a chicken shop to buy some lunch, I went up to order and this really hot guy was serving me. I thought he had said how are you Today? So I replied great thanks. It then registered in my mind that he had actually said how can I help you Today? I looked away embarrassed and he laughed at me!. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 30

By cat_ - 24/04/2019 04:27

Today I walked my dog and instead of peeing on the tree he peed on my leg FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 19

By GertRude - 23/04/2019 23:16

Today, I found out that an all women’s Facebook group is coming to ruin my job, relationship, and face. Why? My sister told everyone I outed her pregnancy over Easter dinner. I didn’t say anything at dinner, and everyone has known she’s been pregnant for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 3

By dusty bean - 21/04/2019 09:21

Today, being 420 marks my year anniversary of surviving full-time at Wal-Mart. One year down. One lifetime to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 28

By Anonymous - 21/04/2019 06:54

Today while i was at work my in law family decided to do easter with out me, after they told me they'd just celebrate sunday. I collect easter eggs year round to fill the void of not celebrating growing up, and wanting to give the kiddos a ridiculous amount of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 12

By HatingMyself - 21/04/2019 02:08

Today, I went to my older friends home for a cookout. Her son who is around my age started flirting with me and we hooked up. She caught us in the act and can’t stop raving about how excited she is to have me as a daughter in law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 138

By Anonymous - 20/04/2019 16:44

Today, my mother tells me that she has been seeing someone other than my dad. We talked for a couple hours about how she needs to tell him about her infidelity, and that I am so not cool with any of this. Then right before I go to bed she tells me to forget about it and say nothing... wtf. I told her like hell I'm going to forget and she shushed me ...FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I used my towel on the counter to clean my glasses. Apparently, my foster cat had peed on it during the night. The wet towel hit my mouth. I started out my day with cat pee on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 317

Today, I was visiting California with a friend. I saw a lot of palm trees by the road and asked my friend, "Wouldn't that be dangerous when there are coconuts...?" My friend gave me weird look and told me that those are two different trees. Turns out I thought palm trees and coconut trees are the same tree for 20+ years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 469

Today, I texted my boss, "I'm looking forward to doing you" instead of, "I'm looking forward to seeing you" thanks to a very unfortunate combination of my atrocious typing skills on a smartphone and an overzealous autocorrect function. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 344

You deserved it 457

Today, I had my quarterly review with my supervisor at the warehouse I work at. He told me I was doing great and we discussed my raise. After I left his office, his supervisor told me I was being fired for my attendance. The last time I missed work was to attend a funeral. Five months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 607

You deserved it 2 326

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 524

You deserved it 9 782

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 684

You deserved it 64 031