Thin brown line By Poopy - 12/01/2009 16:19 - United States Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML I agree, your life sucks 57 964 You deserved it 8 260 Share Tweet Share
Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 126 You deserved it 28 957
Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 120 You deserved it 3 402
Today, my horse discovered that if he pushed the bottom of his water bucket up, it would empty itself outside the stall, right on top of me. I had just bent down to put the grooming supplies back in my bag on the ground just outside the stall. I have a lesson in 5 minutes and my white shirt is now see-through. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 068 You deserved it 674
Today, I managed to give myself a blowjob and it was great. The only problem is that I got stuck between the wall and my bed while I was doing it. I had to call for help and my whole family came to see what was wrong. They all knew what I was doing. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 412 You deserved it 6 395
Today, my flatmate has gotten so obese that she's breaking through the solid wood floors just by walking barefoot. She refuses to diet, and we're never getting our deposit back on this place. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 077 You deserved it 136
Today, I hate the legal profession with a passion, as I just walked out of court where a lawyer, spouting incomprehensible bollocks in Latin, convinced a judge to let a developer bulldoze a children's playground and part of a forest, to build a second multi-storey car park for the shopping centre across the street. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 005 You deserved it 177