NSFW

You learn something new every day

By Anonymous - 20/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Concord

Spicy

Today, after 40+ years of marriage, I got Peyronie's disease. Thankfully, the missus is understanding. After months of treatment, the painful bend is a bit less so, but the scar tissue that causes the bend also does not expand. Because of this, I have lost a full 5 cm / 2 inches in length when erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 90

Under pressure

By Ew blood - 16/04/2026 15:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Spicy

Today, at my boyfriend's request, I put on a tennis dress for him. He was so turned on that he got a massive nosebleed and bled all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 114

Not now!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I walked into the bedroom to find my wife naked, bent over the bed, swaying her cheeks back and forth at me, so what else was I to think? Instead of some good loving, all I got was a shouting and a lecture that just because she’s naked doesn’t mean she’s after sex. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 119

Bang bang bank

By Freerickson - 12/04/2026 12:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that you should never take a girl you meet at the club home, even if she looks like she wouldn’t hurt a fly. We had the most amazing sex ever and I guess the edibles we had threw me off-guard. I woke up to find her gone and my house cleaned out. I didn’t even get her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 407

Happy birthday, huh?

By Jim - 09/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, it's was my birthday. My wife did not get me anything or do anything for me. Instead, she said, "I'll knock an extra day off your sex ban." Sadly, this is probably the nicest thing she's done for my birthday in several years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 132

Let's get it on

By None of that means consent to sex - 08/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like sex. He said, "Funny, I didn't feel like driving to the store for your milkshake earlier, or digging up the flowerbed, or deep cleaning your car, but I did all that to make you happy. Don't I deserve a little reciprocation?" Jesus Christ, I married an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 1 380

Needs

By Bitchy girl who doesn't put out - 07/04/2026 09:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Spicy

Today, I suspected something was up when my boyfriend snuck out of bed after he thought I fell asleep. I caught him jerking to porn in the living room and got really upset. He actually got mad, saying, "I have needs and you never put out and get bitchy when I try." FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 851

Pervert!

By Faith - 05/04/2026 09:00 - The Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I caught my neighbor peeping through his toilet window to watch my sister bathing in our bathroom. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me he was doing what he always does when my sister is bathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 60

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 20:00

Spicy

Today, my daughter admitted that she was the one who left all the used condoms in the back of my ex-husband's car, which led to us getting a horrible divorce because I thought he cheated and didn't believe him. I never suspected her for a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 506

Scared flaccid

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 20:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend met my dad and my brother, and is now shit scared of them. I was hoping to lose my virginity to him this weekend but he’s so scared of what my dad would do if he ever found out that he couldn’t get hard no matter what I did. Thanks a lot dad, you bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 150

Hate the game, not the player

By Anonymous - 02/03/2026 22:00

Spicy

Today, I went on a date with a guy and it went great. I later found out that he came inside another girl, stole her sweatshirt, then left. After that, he proceeded to bang another girl. Both of these girls are in my friend group, and I still went on a date with him after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 466

None taken

By Sorry, guys - 13/11/2025 20:00

Spicy

Today, it’s officially been 37 days since my fiance has seen me naked and longer than that since he’s tried to give me an orgasm. I’ve lost track of how long it’s been. I don’t want to end up like the people on here talking about sexless marriages for years and decades before we’re even married. No offense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 115

Needy

By Arnold - 21/10/2025 09:00

Spicy

Today, my wife asked why I was so grumpy. I admitted that I was horny and sexually frustrated. She went on an hour long tirade about how I "shouldn't need sex to not be a jerk" and how I need to handle my own needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 220

Thanks but no thanks

By Anonymous - 06/10/2025 09:00

Spicy

Today, a woman grabbed my arm and told me she wanted to ride me like a stallion then suck me clean afterwards. It would have been tempting were she not my 90 year-old Alzheimer’s-riddled nana, who raised me on her own and took me to church twice a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 115

Foundations

By Anonymous - 16/09/2025 20:00

Spicy

Today, I caught the woman I’ve been dating for a few weeks in bed with my brother. We’ve not had sex yet. If she wanted a relationship with him, why not say so instead of wasting my time? This truly feels like I did the work digging the trench, but my brother got to lay the pipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 110

Why would you even have that?

By Ellis - 06/09/2025 20:00 - United States - Ephrata

Spicy

Today, I was on FB Messenger talking to one of my friends who is a pastor about getting together playing golf and I meant to send him an emoji in our conversation, but accidentally sent an emoji sticker of my wife and me doing doggystyle. I quickly deleted it on my side, but it was still visible on his side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 532

Side hustle

By Anonymous - 26/08/2025 20:00 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 109

The body keeps the score

By Sold my soul for 5000 - 26/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, a guy offered me five grand for a video call. As an OnlyFans model, I jumped at the chance. He wanted me to list off everything I regretted or disliked about my life while masturbating. Fifteen minutes later, I had the worst panic attack I've ever had. Six hours later and I'm still shaking and sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 622

Don't give up

By Frustrated - 24/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife complained that our sex life is too boring and vanilla. I have spent the last two years suggesting ideas to keep it interesting: S&M, swinging, roleplay, cosplay, public play, new toys, you name it. All I ever hear is, "Eww you pervert, that is disgusting and sick, how dare you even mention that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 124

Ignorance never dies

By Racist ass - 22/08/2025 20:00 - United States - New York

Spicy

Today, my husband told our daughter to eat with her fork, not her hands. She said that in Africa, people eat with their hands. He said, "Yeah, and they cut up little girls' vaginas with a razor blade there too." Now she's traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 178

Perverted justice

By Anonymous - 23/06/2025 20:00 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I pretended to be a little girl on social media, just for fun. All I got was a random guy who sent me a direct message and asked me to send a photo of my private parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 612

Cool down

By Bruises - 18/05/2025 20:00 - United States - Edison

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend picked me up during sex and set me on his shoulders, with his face buried in my pussy. I loved it until he took a step and put my face right in the path of the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 125

Grunge

By Anonymous - 20/12/2024 20:00 - United States - Brunswick

Spicy

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. As I was about to give him head, I saw he had so much left over toilet paper stuck to his nuts. It kind of turned me off but I didn't want to say anything because he's one of the sweetest guys ever. After he nutted, he got up and there was toilet paper crumbs on his bed and ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 256

That's wild

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 20:00 - India

Today, a colleague was telling me she still breastfeeds her 4 year-old son, and that she has breastfed kids of her neighbours too. She kept talking about it and I ended up staring at her ample breasts. She noticed and asked me if I wanted too. Now I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 299

Good question

By Anonymous - 17/10/2024 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Spicy

Today, my six year-old son asked me, "Dad, what's a glory hole?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 138

Stiched up

By familyofpsychos - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Elkhorn

Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 964

You deserved it 2 462

Rekt thread

By Anonymous - 23/07/2024 06:00

Today, my son came home saying there had been a bad accident where two people died in a crash. This sounded terrible but he then said, "Yeah, I took pictures. Wanna see the bodies? They’re disgusting." Everyone in the house except me jumped up to look at those poor dead people. I raised savages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 155

Haunting

By Anonymous - 15/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Portland

Spicy

Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 192

Bonkers

By Anonymous - 27/05/2024 14:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, the cops had to be called while my boyfriend and I were hanging out with some friends of ours. It all started when one of them said that he would kill himself if I didn't "just end your fucking relationship already, and date me instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 108

Speak out

By I tried - 27/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out that one of the students at my old school had committed suicide. Several months earlier, I'd informed the school counselor that said student appeared to be suicidal. Apparently, teachers dismissing her as "lazy" when she was actually very, very depressed was a big factor. Man, fuck that school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 90

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Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 690

You deserved it 70 015

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 647

You deserved it 4 451

Today, I was giving a patient an injection when I heard a cracking sound and the needle was gone. Panicking, I got a doctor to have a look. The patient was sent to have x-rays to find the needle in her thigh. I then noticed the springback system in the syringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 1 108

Today, I’ve been single for 6 and a half years. It was fun for a while, but now it’s just sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 175

Today, yet again I was made to feel how talentless and boring of a person I am. I have great academic achievements, making me one among the top 0.02% youth of my country, but am so uninteresting and introverted that people don't want to be friends with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 254

Today, I love my boyfriend very much don’t get me wrong, but we’re both still young and I don't want sex yet. I thought we were on the same page, I think we still are, but last night he attempted to make me horny. He said some dirty things and I'm not into that. I have big boobs, so guys hit on me a lot, but I thought he was different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 579