Food

YouTube family channels be like

By Anonymous - 07/11/2023 10:00

Today, I’m so hungry. My parents only get food for my sister and I’ve been surviving on cheese sticks for the past week. I only have one left. I don’t get paid until next week. I’m so scared I’m gonna faint at the wheel instead of at home, where I’m usually able to sit down and get some water before I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 137

Le epic bacon

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 275

You deserved it 50 722

I want what I want

By cydia123 - 10/05/2019 06:00

Today, my boss threatened to fire me. Why? An old lady spent 30 minutes looking at our menu before asking for "cottage pie." After telling her that it wasn't an item on the menu, she spent another 20 minutes deciding. She then asked for several more items we didn't have, then complained to my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 119

FEED ME

By Anonymous - 05/01/2021 23:02

Today, I woke up in a military hospital, after having all four wisdom teeth out yesterday. A nurse came in with a breakfast trolley full of eggs and bacon, looks at my pleading face, looks at her clipboard and says, "Only non-solid foods for you, private." FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 164

i'm doing FINE

By tammy999 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a Big Mac, two large fries, a large drink, and one case of chicken nuggets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 330

You deserved it 37 820

Wealth gap

By Anonymous - 06/01/2023 08:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 1 317

Enjoy!

By sad and hungry - 06/06/2015 14:37 - United States - Hackensack

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 586

You deserved it 6 600

By ambrosia - 16/08/2019 00:01

Today, I saw my boyfriend cutting the crusts off his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He’s 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 1 962

Doggy dog world

By badwolf - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 050

You deserved it 4 288

Crunchy

By Anonymous - 26/04/2025 22:00 - United States - Benson

Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 143

Hangry boi

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 130

Man's gotta have his biscuit

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 99

Friend request

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 16:57

Today, I saw a man begging for change downtown. I offered to buy him a meal, just to help him out with food. He said, "Sure, does Friday work?" I told him that I didn't mean it like that. Three hours later, he found me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 198

It's not a phase, Mom!

By worried mama - 31/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my daughter, who is going through a vegan phase, pulled the plug for our garage chest freezer, where we store our meat. That's $1200 of meat, rotten. My husband is so mad that he's been at the gym for six hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 176

It's toasted

By Carolyn - 14/09/2023 22:00

Today, I opened the preheated oven to discover the chicken casserole I made last week is now sludge. The freshly toasted maggots are scattered all over the oven. I took the casserole out, but didn't have my glasses on to see the maggots before placing the pan of biscuits inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 1 056

ED FML

By please don’t… - 13/05/2022 06:00

Today, as always, my parents wait until I go into the kitchen to drop what they’re doing, rush into the kitchen, and stare at me while I’m making food. They also comment on what I’m eating. I’ve had seven therapists and none of them were able to help me with my embarrassment surrounding food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 143

Confused?

By Anonymous - 06/04/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 645

You deserved it 6 040

Added flavor

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Omaha

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 426

You deserved it 3 022

Always Google things before accepting

By Anonymous - 29/11/2021 17:02

Today, after a coworker had invited me over for a "Mukbang" and I'd agreed, thinking it was just some sort of exotic delicacy, I found out that he expected me to eat like a million calories of food on camera for his YouTube channel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 557

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 14/01/2022 23:01

Today, just like every morning, I had to make myself throw up all the acid in my stomach just to make room for a little bit of food. No doctor can fix my problem, and my family still thinks I’m doing it to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 153

Bon appétit

By nauseated - 05/06/2021 13:01 - United States

Today, I got asked to a BBQ by new friend. I walked in, and to my horror she's a hoarder. The house was packed wall to wall and everything was covered in thick layers of dust and dog hair. Her dogs were filthy and untrained. They snatched food off the counters while she laughed and kept cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 98

Kitchen Nightmares

By Anonymous - 20/06/2022 00:00 - Germany - Moormerland

Today, I made huge pot of curry, adhering almost exactly to my proven and delicious recipe. It tasted completely bland, even with all the spices. I kept adding salt, until it tasted bland and oversalted at the same time. I think either the salt is broken or my taste buds are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 812

Too much meat on my hands

By Anonymous - 21/02/2021 07:58

Today, despite being utterly depressed, I thawed 7 kilos of raw meat, in order to put it through the meat grinder. Not only did my mom forget to clean certain parts of the meat grinder after last using it, she also seems to have lost another part, without which the machine doesn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 138

Is it that rare?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 00:00

Today, my girlfriend is mad at me. Apparently in her country, not burping after a meal is very rude, and means you think their cooking skill is bad. I get throat gurgles, not burps. I tried to explain, but she thinks I made up a fake condition. It’s not fake, just so rare it’s unheard of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 135

Words is hard

By purpletulip - 21/10/2016 01:35 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my customer complained to me that there were no scallops in her dish when it was "clearly stated on the menu." Finally, after she ran out of breath, I had to show her that the menu said scallions. She didn't understand, screamed at me and then walked out on her bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 729

You deserved it 690

Scoville

By Anonymous - 15/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend made dinner. He warned me that it was spicy, but I laughed at him and said that white guys don't know spicy. Five minutes later, I had to beg for milk, with my eyes streaming and nose pouring. Turns out I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 748

Country life

By Shain barrett - 29/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Medina

Today, I woke up from a great night of camping and fishing all night long with my fiancee, only to find my stringer of fish being eaten by a water moccasin snake. My dad's been asking for a fish fry for two weeks now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 149

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 194

Kitchen nightmare

By Anonymous - 15/05/2020 14:00

Today, I made my boyfriend a vanilla cake for our anniversary. We sat down to eat it and one bite in, my boyfriend gets a weird look on his face. I take a bite and notice that it tastes like corn. I found out later my dad had replaced all the flour with cornmeal without telling anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 453

Non perishable goods

By Anonymous - 04/08/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I'm on a road trip with my wife and in-laws. After 8 hours of driving we stopped at a hotel to rest overnight. I was elected to go to the grocery store to get dinner. While I was gone, they ate at a restaurant without me. I spent $80 on groceries for the trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 144

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Gross Poopoo peepee Kids Miscellaneous Death Mother in law My ex I need your advice Money AITA Love Break-ups Embarrassing Food Family Teachers School Health Relatable Clumsy Healthy Lifestyle Cats Neighbours Animals Cute Transportation Confused Music Concert Annoying

The Top

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 812

You deserved it 79 176

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 578

You deserved it 3 666

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 219

You deserved it 6 355

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 198

You deserved it 3 316

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 717

You deserved it 5 396

Today, I’m bisexual. My straight friends think it’s a phase and I should just "pick one". My LGBTQ friends think I’m straight and should stop "posing". I’m regularly accused of trying to steal people's partners or asked to join marital threesomes. Can’t I just be a regular person? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 455