ANON · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·London, United Kingdom

Tetchy

Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 222 You deserved it 837

48 comments Share

Busted · 16 January 2026, 15:00

Busted

Today, my husband planned a surprise party. He would pretend to forget my birthday, I'd leave in a rage and go to my best friend's house, where the surprise party would be. It would have been a great plan had I gone to her house and not my side dick's apartment. Now I'm totally fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 You deserved it 1 452

4 comments Share

Welp · 16 January 2026, 12:00

Let's not keep in touch

Today, I tried to reach out to an old friend. He answered the phone sounding half-asleep, then suddenly switched to an outrageously fake and racist Indian accent, and started yelling nonsense down the phone once I said my name. Guess that bridge is burned, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337 You deserved it 108

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 16 January 2026, 09:00

Not your problem

Today, I saw a good friend beg and crawl back to her controlling girlfriend who treats her like a child for the umpteenth time, even after herself acknowledging that she got mistreated. I don't know what else to do to help her, or if I even should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357 You deserved it 82

4 comments Share

hisgirl4life · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Impressive

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 530 You deserved it 8 862

116 comments Share

Anonymous · 16 January 2026, 03:00

Quaint and grounded

Today, I broke the cheap-ass bed in a holiday cottage. All I did was lay down on the bastard, I wasn’t having sex on it and I’m not overweight, but all the supports under the mattress snapped. The owner says I need to pay, and now I don’t have a bed for the rest of my holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434 You deserved it 72

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 16 January 2026, 00:00

Touché

Today, I told my almost 18 year-old that she couldn’t go to a school event because I needed her to watch her younger siblings so I could go out with my sisters. She scoffed, “You have four baby daddies and not one can babysit?” and then went to the event anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 You deserved it 1 687

10 comments Share

Anonymous · 15 January 2026, 22:00

Time to let go

Today, my husband is leading us into financial ruin by insisting on paying for his senior dog’s cancer treatment, but the poor thing is so old and miserable, I’m pretty sure it’s animal abuse at this point. He won’t listen to reason, our bills are all past due, and my car is about to get repossessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556 You deserved it 90

1 comment Share

Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Wallingford, United States

Thanks, officer

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 506 You deserved it 3 286

95 comments Share

Clerk · 15 January 2026, 15:00

Rare moment of humanity

Today, a guy at work yelled at me for being incompetent when he got frustrated because I couldn't immediately solve his problem. After we got it worked out, he apologized for overreacting and said I didn't deserve his reaction. I'm so accustomed to being treated like dirt that I started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447 You deserved it 96

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 15 January 2026, 12:00

High potential

Today, my youngest was recognized as a genius. My older two are now upset because they don’t think it’s fair and my husband is moaning because he thinks we’re now going to be stuck raising Sheldon Cooper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374 You deserved it 85

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 15 January 2026, 09:00

Triggered

Today, I added a new trigger for my debilitating migraines: presentations shown on projectors - BAM; went to the movies - BAM; went to a concert - BAM BAM BAM. Apparently big screens trigger them now, in addition to sleep or meal disruption, hormones or stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371 You deserved it 60

0 comment Share

Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Miami, United States

Fierce kitty

Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous!" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 302 You deserved it 32 548

94 comments Share

Anonymous · 15 January 2026, 03:00

Peace offering

Today, after a silly argument, I decided to walk up on my boyfriend naked, but instead of a cute reaction video, I got a video of him yelling at me to grow up, get my ass dressed, and to stop trying to manipulate him while he’s angry at me. The argument was over the Lego we’re building together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177 You deserved it 587

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 15 January 2026, 00:00

Kinda unkind

Today, I got broken up with over text/phone after dating for 3 months (I thought he was the one), all because his parents want him to marry "his own kind." He told me because of that there was no future and he would just be wasting my time. It's a stupid reason, and he's a coward. Here I am crying over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439 You deserved it 196

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 14 January 2026, 22:00

Many such cases

Today, I realized I’m what they call “first world poor.” I own a phone and a laptop paid for with credit, and every time I use them it’s to check my emails to see all my new job application rejections, and to check my bank so I can watch my savings dwindling away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 100

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 14 January 2026, 20:00

Out of service

Today, after I injured my left wrist from holding my nephew the wrong way for too many hours on New Year's, and found out that it would optimistically take 4-6 weeks to heal, this morning I managed to give myself second degree burns on my right hand from handling a tray I didn't know was hot. So that's three weeks with no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293 You deserved it 149

1 comment Share

awkwardballer · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

B-Baller

Today, while playing basketball with my new coworkers, I managed to get the ball stuck between the hoop and backboard. In trying to free it, I also got a traffic cone stuck and ended up having to drag a large ladder across the court while everyone watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 167 You deserved it 1 729

8 comments Share

Anonymous · 14 January 2026, 15:00

Memories…

Today, I dug out an old yearbook to look up one of my teachers. Instead, I immediately found the signature of my horrible ex, claiming my “yearbook virginity.” He got my physical virginity too, through some extremely unethical means. I hate him for being a scumbag, and myself for being a fool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397 You deserved it 120

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 14 January 2026, 12:00

Technologically challenged

Today I booked an Airbnb for a few days and the instructions for the television were a laminated sheet saying, “It’s a tv, not a supercomputer, figure it out snowflake!” I can’t work out how to move it from Sky to Netflix; I’ve tried every possible button, menu, and setting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333 You deserved it 136

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 14 January 2026, 09:00

Steamy pile of mess

Today, I put leftovers in the microwave and pressed what I thought was “1:00.” It was actually “10:00.” I got distracted, then realized at minute eight when the smell changed from “warm food” to “bad science experiment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 156 You deserved it 347

0 comment Share

Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·United States

Dad joke

Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 877 You deserved it 4 632

50 comments Share

brainrot · 14 January 2026, 03:00

Oh, right

Today, I spent an entire conversation nodding and agreeing with someone, only to realize near the end that I'd misunderstood one key detail and was agreeing with the opposite of what they meant. I laughed awkwardly and said, “Oh, I thought you meant the other thing.” They said, “I know.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 You deserved it 337

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 14 January 2026, 00:00

Gassy

Today, as I was walking out of my building that I have just moved into to walk my dog, a kind neighbour held the door open for us. Just as I walking walking though, I let out the loudest stinkiest fart in history (thanks fertility meds). I guess I’ll have too move out now… FML

I agree, your life sucks 313 You deserved it 168

1 comment Share

bad son · 13 January 2026, 22:00

Love you!

Today, I texted my mom, “Love you!” and immediately followed it with, “Oops wrong chat” except it wasn't the wrong chat. She replied, “???” and now she thinks I only say I love her by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 You deserved it 434

0 comment Share

thathottchickk · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

You little…

Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 735 You deserved it 3 801

70 comments Share

Anonymous · 13 January 2026, 15:00

Lost in time

Today, I told a coworker, “Enjoy your weekend!” out of pure muscle memory. It was Monday morning. They stared at me for a full second before quietly saying, “I will... in five days.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 144 You deserved it 276

0 comment Share

Kav · 13 January 2026, 12:00

FIRE!

Today, the fire alarm went off at my apartment. I rushed out but forgot to grab a coat, so I hopped in my car and fired it up, figuring I'd wait it out. A fireman knocked on my window and loudly asked me to get out, then wrote me a citation for "improper fire alarm protocols." That's a thing? FML

I agree, your life sucks 405 You deserved it 99

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 13 January 2026, 09:00

You have been chosen

Today, I think I was just nominated as a crazy old cat lady. I was sitting in my garden when a stray methodically came back and forth, leaving her three kittens in one of my flowerbeds two feet from me, and now she hasn’t been back all day. I guess I own cats now. Three of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329 You deserved it 79

3 comments Share

hoolagirl4422 · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Kennedy Town, Hong Kong

Wishful thinking

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 198 You deserved it 9 567

88 comments Share