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Criminal behavior

By Get ur own spot fuckr - 11/03/2026 03:00

Today, I loosened the lug nuts on a guy's tires since he won't stop parking in my assigned spot and the rental authority refused to do anything. His tire flew off as he was tearing down the highway and he totaled his car. Now I might get charged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 162

Anger management

By Janisha - 21/03/2026 20:00

Today, our children were playing in the apartment, and I guess it made too much noise for the guy below, because he started banging on the ceiling. My boyfriend got so pissed that he grabbed his gun, stormed off, and threatened the guy below with it. He's on parole so I'm praying he doesn't report it to the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 857

Dating is hell

By PrettyGirlCrookedMouth - 25/03/2026 09:00

Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy from a dating app. He'd set the date and told me where to meet him. We met at a coffee shop, and he was an absolute gentleman. Five minutes after the date, I went to message him that I'd enjoyed myself, only to find he'd blocked me on the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 83

Things can only get better

By Anonymous - 27/03/2026 03:00

Today, I felt so rejected by my wife that I can't help myself but feel like shit. She has bipolar, is on medication, yet she makes me feel so little that emotionally and physically that I've started to feel like a failure. No intimacy, shitty behaviour, complaining all the time. Man, I wish I could end it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 75

Special day

By LockedOut - 28/04/2026 12:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my husband and I sent our kids out with family and had the house to ourselves after ages. We had awesome sex. I wanted to cuddle while he wanted to take me out to a restaurant to enjoy our day. We argued, he won, and while we left our home arguing, we locked ourselves outside. The locksmith was costly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 192

Upon reflection

By mahanaaa_23 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Honolulu

Today, my boyfriend of six years proposed to me. Less than three hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 216

You deserved it 4 449

Unstable

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I won my custody battle. I wish I could be happy about it, but it strained my current marriage so badly that now I'm going through my second divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 163

Family man

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my parents disowned me because I threw out my wife and son after I found out that the kid wasn't mine. According to them, I'm a "heartless asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 238

Weird anniversary mood but OK

By Anonymous - 14/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Northport

Today, it was me and my wife's anniversary. I spent it consoling her as she cried over a man she loved 20 years ago. They never even dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 94

DILF

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, an internet repair tech thought my dad was my husband, and seemed skeptical when I corrected him. People usually think I'm way younger than my actual age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 85

Stuck

By Anonymous - 26/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was in and out of my room to cook dinner at 11:30pm and accidentally locked the door. I couldn't jimmy it by myself so called a locksmith who used two of those inflatable car door things and a screwdriver to pop it in 30 seconds flat. Cost me 180 bucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 318

Bastards!

By Anonymous - 03/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I found out that my passport expired two days ago, two days before my first vacation abroad. I only found out when the airline employee scanned it at check-in, looked at me with sympathy, and said, "I don't think you're going anywhere today." My friends are currently posting beach photos while I'm filling out passport renewal forms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 687

The betrayal

By Anonymous - 04/07/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, if you ever need reminding that parents blatantly have a favorite child, remember that my mother tried to fistfight my sister’s ex-husband AND his mother when they weren’t treating my sister right, but she invited my ex and the woman he cheated on me with to a family dinner. Thanks Ma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 71

Mystery solved

By thatstinks - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Iceland

Today, I finally found out what the weird sour smell that's been in my dorm room for a while is. My roommate's sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 783

You deserved it 3 014

This is what TERFs believe

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the kids got in a fight so my wife told our son boys shouldn’t hit girls, even if his sister is older and bigger. What happened next? He put on his sisters dress, claimed he’s a girl today, then hit his sister in the face with an iPad blacking her eye. I have no idea how to parent this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 244

Blinded

By Anonymous - 25/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my phone’s flashlight turned on in my pocket while I was at the movie theater. I didn’t notice until the stranger next to me whispered, “Hey, your dick is glowing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 144

The golden child

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to use my mum's laptop so she told me the password was just my sister's name. I hit a wrong key and misspelled it, so the incorrect password prompt came on screen. The prompt was: "Favourite child?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 91

Why would you even have that?

By Ellis - 06/09/2025 20:00 - United States - Ephrata

Today, I was on FB Messenger talking to one of my friends who is a pastor about getting together playing golf and I meant to send him an emoji in our conversation, but accidentally sent an emoji sticker of my wife and me doing doggystyle. I quickly deleted it on my side, but it was still visible on his side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 536

Hurting over here

By wo-ow - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bronx

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 759

You deserved it 4 393

I know her so well

By Oh neighhh - 13/09/2025 20:00

Today, I went all out for a date with the girl of my dreams. I planned a romantic horse ride along a ridge down to a scenic valley for a picnic at sunset. Turns out she’s absolutely terrified of horses, and heights make her queasy. We ended up at the only restaurant nearby, McDonald’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 175

Confusing

By here's a giant baby - 05/10/2025 03:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 583

The struggle is real

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 09:00

Today, my husband keeps falling sick or imagining that he's sick. We started the year with flu, then back pain, then a sprain, then a ligament tear, and now a bacterial infection. On the days he's not sick, he has zero interest in physical intimacy, scared that he'll catch an STD. We're a married monogamous couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 101

You absolure freak

By Frederik - 12/11/2025 03:00

Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 110

The great escape

By Ethan - 13/11/2025 22:00

Today, I decided to start jogging again for the first time in months. I made it one block before tripping over the curb. I fell so hard, my phone flew out of my pocket and hit a parked car, setting off its alarm. I ran off when I saw house curtains all around me start to twitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 126

Biphobia is real

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 20:00

Today, is it wrong that i was a dating a man and everything was going good, until him saw him on Grindr? Is it bad for me to still want him? To have sex him? To have him be my baby daddy? Knowing he likes dick too? Help! Help me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 468

Happy birthday indeed

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 15:00

Today, it was my birthday. I had an appointment at the dentist and went to do some shopping after that. A while after I got home, I met my dad and he just started complaining that I didn't spend any time with them on my birthday. When I tried to explain to him, he just got angry at me and started yelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 68

WAKEY WAKEY

By Anonymous - 19/11/2025 09:00

Today, I woke up to the sound of my own voice yelling, “GET UP, YOU LAZY CUNT!” on repeat. It took me a moment to remember I'd drunkenly recorded my own alarm last night because I thought it would “motivate” me. It scared me so much I fell off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 491

Cool

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 03:00

Today, at the gym, I was trying to look cool doing pull-ups in front of someone I liked. On my first pull-up, my hand slipped, and I fell backwards onto a yoga ball, which shot me straight into another guy doing push-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 370

Kinda cruel

By TGIF - 22/11/2025 22:00

Today, I overheard coworkers talking about someone showing up with lettuce or something in their teeth. I laughed and joked it “could never be me.” Later, in the bathroom mirror, I discovered I’d had the same exact green blob stuck between my front teeth for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 389

Peaceful

By kirrby - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 304

You deserved it 4 638

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The Top

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 537

You deserved it 4 892

Today, my boyfriend informed me that the mother of his children, from whom he is not divorced yet, is moving back into his house because she broke up with her boyfriend and has nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 673

You deserved it 8 351

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 939

You deserved it 32 624

Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 069

You deserved it 98

Today, I’m not sure what to call it, but I think I just got COVID-SWATted when a bunch of police turned up to my house after someone told them I was partying with over 50 people, breaking social distancing. In a one-bed flat, with barely enough room for 3 people to sit down at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 107

Today, I drove 120 miles to spend a few days with my girlfriend. Less than 12 hours into my stay, she dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 165