By Anonymous - 08/09/2018 09:00 - United States - Buffalo
The Top
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It's hot!
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Holding pattern
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - Chevy Chase
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Explain yourself
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Loose Women
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When Parents Get Pissed
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I don't get paid enough for this shit
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Sorry
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Who am I?
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LolAtMyPosts tells us more.
By myownperson - 25/10/2011 08:17 - United States
Sophie's choice
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
By Hugh_Jankles - 08/01/2010 18:48 - United States
By elissak - 07/12/2014 06:58 - United States - Dubuque
elissak tells us more.
Hey all! OP here. A longer version of the story... I was on a first date when I saw a man at another table panic, get up from his table, and start running toward the back. I was taught this is a common sign of someone choking, so I went after him without thinking (my poor date!). I caught him right before the bathrooms and had him calm enough for a moment to dislodge the lobster. He was very thankful at the time. Around twenty minutes later when his table got the bill, he made a special trip over to my table to get in my face and started yelling about how I cost him this otherworldly amount of money because he couldn't get that lobster back. I had considered opening my purse and pulling out some monopoly money to pay for his meal (yes, I keep monopoly money on me), but I thought that might have been a little cruel or in poor taste, so I simply stared at him until he walked away. My date and I laughed about it for the rest of dinner, and it's definitely a tale getting added to my arsenal of stories. No harm done!
By Anonymous - 25/11/2018 12:00
By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 03:58 - United States - Cedar Rapids
Pleased to meet you
By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 11:02 - United States
Keywords
For those who care, no, I didn't give him my address, I'm not an idiot. He just knows the city I live in, because I'm sure I've mentioned it during a group chat. He and I are NOT in a relationship in any way, shape, or form. I barely know him. He's had this weird obsession with me for a while. We talk about once every other day, and have two types of conversations. The most common is: 'Hi, how are you? Good? Glad to hear you're good. Have a nice day.' And that's it. The less common and more creepy is him asking: 'Can I buy you stuff? Can I have your address so I can send you stuff? Do you like jewelry? I'm going to come visit you ;)' He doesn't know my real name, nor do I know his. He doesn't know what I look like, only what I sound like on a mic. We only know each other through our gaming community, and nothing more. :/ I have broken all ties with him, and deleted him off my friends' list (because that's the ONLY way he could contact me). Dude needs to grow up and get his head checked.