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OP here. Sorry for being confusing. We don't have much room, so I had to condense pretty drastically. Basically, an aunt with a history of mean behavior introduced me to some random elderly relative I'd never met before, at my father's funeral. Without asking, the elderly stranger tried to hug me. I held out my hand to fend her off, which some people claim is all that's needed to escape from an unwanted hug. Instead, the rando began shrieking fake hurt -- "You DON'T want a HUG?" with an exaggerated stricken expression. Grieving and already overwhelmed, I allowed her to grab me. The nasty aunt who introduced us, and who has made a hobby of ridiculing me ever since my birth, then trotted to the center of the room. While literally pointing at me and guffawing, she started yelling ridicule -- the "BloodyButUnbowed had her hand out! She thought she was gonna shake hands!" stuff, while glancing around to see who would mock the deceased's daughter with her. She may have been audible in the next county. Nobody joined her, since most people have better manners than my family, but she tried for a while. I am very happy living on the other side of the continent from these people.

I walk my cat on a leash and harness, instead of letting him roam, because I love him and do not want him to become lost to me. He really enjoys it and actually begs at the door to go for his walk. My neighbors are just trashy. They sit on their porches and loudly talk about the people who go by, which includes me whenever I try to walk my cat before I go to work. They are disturbingly proud of themselves, and seem to feed off of each other, with each malicious comment earning praise and support from their group. I... I just hate them so much. They don't seem to do anything. I don't know what they do for work. They're just always sitting on one of two porches, being dicks to everyone and adding new tidbits of trash to the landscape.

Okay, so I'm the 1 who wrote this FML, and i would just like to inform everyone that 1.) yes, i do own a dog..3 actually, so i can complete the food chain. 2.) this is not fake...my cat decapatates animals and leaves the body parts laying around outside, 3.) I have more hamsters :) and 4.) The hamster that was killed was previously being attacked by my other hamsters, so i had to seperate him from the rest and put him in a bucket until we got a new cage. so he was in the bathroom, in a bucket with the door closed. then some dumb ass kid opened the door and took out the hamster and it got away.

Thanks guys for the support and funny comments. I spoke to our manager and asked her to clear it up with our boss. Luckily he was willing to listen to her so I received an apology and a raise!