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OP here. I wanted to add that this all happened at 3AM during a thunderstorm. The neighbors didn't answer their door until the firefighters knocked. The fire didn't start until they were already here, so there was no smoke at first. The storm blew loose shingles off in 1 place- over the alarm.

Hey, I'm the OP! In all fairness, she and her friends were wasted, and I was the designated driver. She didn't remember any of this the next day, and actually found it quite funny. She's not dumb. Sorry to dissapoint you. And to the people that pointed out my typo - yes I'm MARRYING a her. English isn't my first language and I was exhausted when I wrote this. :)

OP here. I'll start by saying I'm leaving tis job voluntarily. I'm moving to a new town, I'll actually be making more at my new job. I have no hard feelings towards my current company. They even offered to pay me more to get me to stay, but sadly they don't have a branch in the town I'm moving too. To be clear this is a manager position I worked up too and they decided to raise the starting pay of my job after they started looking for someone. Apparently they think if the pay is good enough they might get someone as close to how good I am. So I took that As a compliment, I don't plan on screwing the new girl over. I just find it funny they wait until they are losing me to finally listen to me about how my department is under appreciated. I do wish them all the best though, they are making some great strides to being better. Sorry for the long response!

OP here! I got the car as a Christmas present from my fiance. My previous car was totaled by an ex (intentionally, another FML) and I'm a poor single mom, so I didn't have much choice except to learn how to drive it asap or walk. I was doing fairly well, but was in a line of cars on a hill, with the car behind me a few inches off my bumper. The First and Reverse are right next to each other, and in a panic, I couldn't figure out if I was in Reverse. On a hill you have to really hit the gas or you roll back. I couldn't tell which gear I was in, so the choice was not hit the gas hard enough and roll into the car behind me, or maybe accidentally in R and floor it into the car behind me. Had a blank moment of panic. The crossing guard was a sweetheart and pulled my car out for me so I could take a few breaths. Then cheered me on when I recovered and peeled out! P.S. This does not make me just another stupid American.

The situation is a bit more in depth... maybe this little addition might clear it up some. She knows it's mine, because when I was living with him, towards the end of the relationship, she had become a pseudo roommate. This'll probably up the "you deserve it" and ah well. The shirt is my favorite for the reason that it was only available at a particular booth at the San Diego Comic-con. After the end of the relationship I had literally only one day to pack for a flight, which I had to get at the last minute (we live in Oregon, my family is in California). The apartment just wasn't organized or easy to find everything that I had there. To allow myself to get over the breakup I hadn't kept contact and of course was distracted with finding a job and getting back to normalcy that when I finally got back into contact with him, and when I finally realized that the shirt was missing, there was a conveniently posted facebook photo of his new gal and him. The shirt is unmistakable, as, like I said, it's not widely available. Oh, and I rocked that shirt like no other, the new girl looks like a reject Sinead O'Connor with man hands; why on Earth would my favorite shirt look hideous on me?